


Worth a million words.

by realangeleren (orphan_account)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Eventual Sex, Eventual kissing, M/M, Muteness, actual angel eren, and precious not-talking eren, future megane levi, im trash, maybe love at first sight, most likely, rocky rollercoaster of emotions, too much kissing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-21
Updated: 2016-01-09
Packaged: 2018-04-10 13:09:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4393187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/realangeleren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren got used to spending his life in silence. Sure, He could never talk again, has a hard time forming any social bond, and has everyone around him controlling him. - But at least he had somewhere he could escape somewhere. Sometimes. </p><p>But one day, in the campus garden, that's where he met Levi. He'll never forget the chill that shot down his spine. Nor will he ever think his silent life will last much longer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. days 1-4

**Day one**

 I was sure that it was a normal day for me. - Of course It was a normal day for me. I woke up and I felt just as shittier than when I had gone to sleep. - Yeah, I’d say that was pretty normal.

 But that day wasn't normal.

 I actually wonder if things would have been different if I was normal. That probably wasn't the truth,though. One time he did say that he held no interest in normalcy.

 It was a Monday. It was the first day of Spring. It was also the first day of the new semester, and students were in flow, trying to get to class. Meeting up with new study groups, new connections.

Mom told me that spring was the best season. You’re getting over the chill of winter, and right before the fires of summer. She said the new season was a new chance to do better. It was a chance to wash away all the mistakes of the winter and start on a new you.

Instead of working on a new me and branching out, I dipped into the farthest east end of campus, right before the bridge from the dorms to the classes, and into the campus garden.

Everyone who visited Rose University would say that the lookout peek was the most beautiful part of the campus. Because not only can you look over the old campus, but you can also see the city under it’s length. Or some may say that it was the planetarium, that sat right in the middle of campus, and was always crowded with the astrology students, or just everyday students visiting.

The garden was number one though. Everyone overlooked the garden because they were just flowers. - I overheard one of the people from the gardening club talk with his friend once. It was just plants. The club gave credits, so he had to take the class. - They were pretty, but they weren't exceptional.

The garden was the most peaceful, though. It was calm, it was quiet, it was secluded.

But most of all, it’s where I saw him.

 It was on that day. The first day of spring where I saw him. It was the first time I had ever seen him. - I made my way to the garden for my afternoon nap, the time between my morning class and my 3 PM class. It was a great place to kill the time. - I didn’t have to be around people. I didn’t have to talk. I wasn't pressured to talk.

 But there he was. He was sitting with headphones resting in his ears, a black hoodie slung over his upper half, and books scattered all over the table. Each one had a notebook inside of it, and he was typing away at the laptop that was directly infront of him. - I couldn’t see his eyes, or anything of the sort. I really could just see his undercut, and the sound of him tapping away at the laptop.

 I had a chill when I looked at him. It shot through my body like morphine shooting through my veins.

 He didn’t look up when i dropped my bag on the table directly across from him. No words came out when I sat down and just laid my head across my bag. - I wonder if then I had the feeling that he was going to be the one to fix me. My eyes closed slowly at the sight of his small frame and quickly escaped in the spring weather.

 My alarm woke me up an hour and a half later. He was gone. The only thing to remember him by was a small BIC pen that was abandoned on the table still. - It was one of the small pens that you could buy in a 10 pack at the dollar tree. - I shoved it in the pocket of my backpack, though. - The rest of the day, the feeling of his presence stayed in my body.

**Day Two.**

 

As a condition to letting me go to school miles and miles away from home (like everyone else in my graduating class) , my mother was forcing me to see the school doctor at least twice a month. - This would be the first this semester meeting with him, but I met him several times last semester. - Basically Dr. Smith normally doesn't do Psychiatry sessions, But my father went to college with him, and knows he minored in Psych, and my parents said that with my lack of speech, my mental health is number one on the list.

 It didn't help that Mikasa was there to make sure I attended the sessions didn't help.

 I actually didn’t have the slightest clue as to why he even wanted to keep up the sessions. - Every session consisted of Dr. Smith asking me questions, and I replied just with a nod, a shake of the head, a shrug, or maybe the few ounces of sign language.

 “Eren, Did you do what I asked of you since the last time we met?” Of course I didn’t. “Eren, you need to know how important it is for you to make connections. People living with your disorder.. they need social connections.”

 Except who wants to make connections with the kid who doesn’t talk.

 “ _I have friends.”_

 “I mean other than the same two people you've known since infancy.” He kind of had a point.

 “ _I have others. Jean, Marco. Sasha. Connie.”_  Give the fact that I wouldn’t be alone with any of them without Mikasa or Armin in the room, but they were friends regardless. - And Jean, Well.. He was Jean. My roommate. He was just.. Jean.

 “Eren, being lost inside your own mind is a very dangerous thing, Remember that.” - I answered Dr. Smith with a nod, and he upped the dose on my sleeping medication. - On top of the anxiety medication, my inhaler, my depression medication, and everything else they had me on. Something to stop the dreams, more like the memories.

 After my appointment with Dr. Eyebrows, I went to my garden. - See, by then I had forgotten about the chill that shot down my spine the last time I saw the man. Actually, with the sour mood that always sat on my existence after I left the student health center.

 But there he was. Sitting in the same exact place as he had last week. This time he was sitting in the opposite direction from last time, and he could see anyone who entered the garden. - I could also see his dark eyes. They reminded me of a cross between a winters storm and a mass murderer who hasn't slept in days. - they intrigued me. I probably shouldn't have thought that description was beautiful.

 Even though he could witness who did show up in the entryway, he didn't look up. His eyes were glued to the computer, and his fingers were tapping away. I decided that he was one of the study nuts who did too much at the beginning of the semester.

 I took too deep of a breath. My heart rate sped up, and my palms got sweaty. - But I still reached for him abandoned pen inside my bag. I clutched it probably too hard in my hand and walked it over to his table. - I was actually semi glad that I didn't have the capability for once in my life. I would have been shuddering with how heavy I was breathing.

 He didn't look up until I stood in front of him, and held out the pen towards him. - At first he just gave me a few blinks, and a long awkward stare.

 “What's this?” Of course. I just set it down on top of one of his text books, and gave a small shrug, then slid my hands back in my jeans. “Is this mine? - Oh, the one I left?” I returned his question with a nod. But he picked up the pen, and slid it in between his index and middle finger. “Thanks, I guess. But it's just a pen. It's replaceable.”

 The mans voice was cold, but It wasn't the kind that was rude. It was cold and deep, and slightly monotone. I'd describe it as being the complete opposite of Armin, whose voice was always full of energy and emotion. This mans voice lacked every single aspect of his.

 I returned his reply with a slight shrug, then returned to where I abandoned my backpack. - He didn't move when I went back to my table, and didn't say anything else to me. - I once again went back to my bag, and did my ritual of slinging my body over my bag until I fell asleep.

 Today when my alarm went off, There was something lazily slung over my shoulders, though. It was a clear rain poncho. It was one of the ones you buy from the student store for 3 dollars and everyone used once then threw away. - I glanced under the wooden sun cover and realized that there was water falling down from the cracks in the woods. I realized then that It was raining. - It had to be him. There was no one else there.

 

**Day Three.**

 It was four days since I saw the man again. And I was there before he was this time. - For some reason I couldn't fall asleep that day, though. Maybe it was because I had skipped my sleeping medication. It was actually because the night before I had a dream of his eyes. - It was just him and me. But I was singing. - Singing. _Me._

 After the accident, they told me that it was unlikely that I'd ever be able to speak again. - I actually don't remember what happened. I was driving with Dad back from a gig he had to pick me up from. There was a drunk driver. During the accident I had hit a part in my brain that was what speech was associated with, broke 2 ribs and fractured my wrist. 

But in my dream, I was still singing. Me. - My head hurt. I hated the dreams. - I almost was going to give up on resting that day, and go get lunch instead. Armin probably was on his lunch by now, and I was sure that he would have some with me. I wanted to avoid getting lunch with Mikasa for the moment because of the fact that I could already hear what she would be saying:

 “ _did you see the doctor?”_

“ _Was it helpful?”_

“ _did he up your dosage again?”_

“ _did they find out anything new?”_

 20 Questions were waiting for me. - I shook my head and reached my hand in my backpack to get my phone, planning to type a text to Armin, but then he came through the gate.

 “yes.. Yes..” He was talking on his phone. He had his phone pressed to his shoulder and his ear and carrying his things in his arms. “I know.. Okay. I'll get it done. I'll call them then. I'm aware that there's a d- Oi, who do you think you're talking to? Okay shit for brains.” He fell at the table directly across from me. “Whatever. I'm hanging up.” Then he did hang up, and tugged his laptop out of his messenger bag.

 I looked back down at my own backpack. - I should give him back the rain cover now. - I wonder what he'd say. I wonder if he was the type that would just keep it. My chest was pounding, though. It was stressful.

 “Oi. Kid. Do you want to make a few dollars?” His harsh voice had said. - Me? Was he talking to me? I looked all around for a moment. “You can't be that dumb. Is there anyone else here?” I zipped up my backpack, and slung it on my shoulders before I shakily took a step towards his table. “Go to the coffee shop across the street and get me a medium americano? I don't have time. You can get yourself whatever, then keep the change.” He shoved a 20 in my hand, then darted his eyes to his laptop screen, as it booted up.

 I did as I was told. It was a strange situation, though. A kid who he doesnt even know his name, he shoved a 20 and set him to get coffee. Anyone could have just taken the money and ran off, never to be seen again. - My shoulders shrugged as I walked over to the shop.

 Of course, It was a coffee place, though. I couldn't exactly tell them what I wanted. That was fantastic. I took a deep breath, and closed my eyes slowly, then reached in my bag for my notebook, writing what I wanted on the paper, handing it to the barista.

 “Is there a name for this order?”

 I didn't even think about that. I didn't even know his name. - I wondered what kind of name he had. Instead, I scribbled out 'Eren.' On the paper, and then pointed towards a can of monster that was in the mini fridge. - Even though my name was written out in front of them, they still spelled my name 'Erin'

 When I returned to the man, and set his drink on his table, then the rest of his change on his book, and sat back in my seat, discarding my drink.

 “I said you could keep the change?”

 I just looked at him, and gave a simple shrug, before looking down at my own can, the cracked it open.

 “You could have gotten something other than a energy drink that will fuck up your heart.” - He was looking at me for a response. As if I could give him a response. I just kind of shrugged again, and got comfortable in the seat.

 “So your name is Erin?” He asked, glancing at the cup. I bit on my lip for a long moment. Before getting to my feet again, and walked the few steps to his table, and picked up one of his pens, and a sheet of his blank notebook paper, and wrote out 'Eren.' - My hand writing was messy, and shaky. Probably because my hands were shaking as I did the move. - I'm pretty sure I heard him laugh.

 “You don't talk?” He asked next, when I sat down. I just shook my head, and filled my mouth with the drink. He just made a noise that sounded like a humming, before saying the next part. “It's fine. People talk too much, and it's annoying.”

 I wanted to talk too much, though.

 

**Day four.**

 The very next day, When I made my way towards the garden, he was there. I had just listened to Mikasa telling me that if I didn't start taking my medication she was going to be forced to let mom know. - I had stopped taking the depression medication. It was probably dumb, because I'm sure they put me on that for a reason, but I felt constantly drugged. I didn't want to feel like that. I wanted to feel normal.

 The chance is 90 % that I'll never talk again, what is normal in any situation like that. - But still. Because I can't talk, that doesn't mean there is something wrong with my brain? - I just kept giving her an eye roll and continued out of my class. I shouldn't doubt her, because she would end up telling mom. Then mom would pressure me to going back home, again.

 I had a headache from the conversation, and felt like sleeping. - He was in the garden, though. Sitting at the same table. But this time his head was put over his laptop, and his eyes were pressed closed. He was the one sleeping this time?

 Every other time I had seen the man, he was steadily typing away at the laptop, of darting his eyes over some book. Quiet, but fast. But this time, his head was laid over his keyboard, and his slanted eyes were shut. - He was peaceful.

 It dawned on me then that I didn't know his name. - Well it's not like we were on a name basis. He did buy me a drink, and I did pick up his coffee. He knew I didn't talk, and he knew my name. I didn't have a clue who this man was. What his name was, if he went to this school, if he went to another school. He did look kind of older, but he couldn't have been that old. - Why did he always come to the garden?

Today, I was daring. I actually had no clue why I was feeling like this today. I also had no clue as to why I had that feeling in my stomach. - But I sat at the same table as him. It wasnt directly across from him, but it wasn't that far away either. It was on the other side of the table, and at the apposite end. - Instead of sleeping, I pulled out my phone and went through my messages.

  **Mikasa** : I'm meeting with my cousin tonight @ the campus pub. I guess he works on campus. Wanna come?

  **Mom** : Eren, I miss you. You and Mikasa need to drive down for the weekend. You also need to call me more!

  **Armin** : Jean said you didn't show up to your lit class. Do you want to get dropped?

 

I gave the biggest eye roll of my life and just slid my phone right back in my bag. My headache had come back again, following the massive sigh.

 “You look like you're going to stab your phone.” The cold voice had said from the other end of the table.

 I looked up and he was awake. He was staring at me for a long time.

 “Don't look like that, Kid. It's okay to be pissed off once in awhile.” He said, before leaning his arms back and stretching out. Then he threw a stack of papers at me, and threw a highlighter at my direction. “Since you're sitting there doing nothing, you can be useful. - Fucking kids can't write for shit. Just highlight every time someone uses the word 'I' or 'Me' in the essays.

 As I started, he mumbled to me, “I don't know why they asked me to come teach a college-level- high school class. They all are illiterate dumb fucks.” He managed to mumble, before he went back to typing at his laptop. “They never shut the fuck up. They never listen to me. The only thing I get out of the class was a mediocre pay check and a headache the paycheck can't even pay for.” - He was talking more today. It was more that he was just speaking his thoughts out loud.

 I wonder if he was like, well, who is the kid who can't talk going to tell?

 That night, Mikasa did drag me out to the pub. I never drank anything when she dragged me along. She kind of just shoved me towards a stool and I had soda. She wanted to make sure I got some social interaction. They all want to make sure I don't get lost inside my own mind.

Am I not already lost inside my own mind, though?

“So, before your mom took me in, I stayed with this family, it was my Dad's brother, I think. We share the same last name – Anyway, he was older and moved after I left their house and then your dad found me. But we kept in touch via social networks, and now he works at the campus.”

“ _How much older is he?”_

“Not that much. He just graduated from college himself, and got a teaching gig he probably hates.” Mikasa was rarely very vocal. She really only was with me and Armin. “Levi isn't the type of person that would work well teaching, but I guess when you graduated with honors English then I guess it's something good, right?” Then Mikasa waved her arm towards the door, and we both slid off the table to greet Mikasas distant cousin.

Who we were waving too was the man. The man that gave me that chill. The guy who was talking his thoughts to me. The man who looked like he never slept, and liked the color black too much.

“Eren, This is my cousin, Levi.”

“You.” He said, though, disregarding her introduction.

“Wait, you know each other?” Mikasa gave a look of confusion. But this look of confusion was nothing compared to the confusion that was written all over my face. The look of confusion that was written all over my face was totally legible, and I can tell you the truth that I have never been more confused than I was in that moment.

 


	2. Days 5-8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gets feelings. Levi gets more and more mysterious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated fast. Pshya.

**Day 5:**

Levi was related to Mikasa. - So I wasn't expecting that. I also wasn't expecting Mikasa to laugh as much as she did at dinner. Or go as far down memory lane as she did.

The guy.. probably the only guy who treated me like a human was related to my adoptive sister. They grew up together. Well, not really grew up, but they did know things about each other that I don't know. And I probably will never know. - I took a giant sigh and trudged my way to the garden.

It was the Tuesday after. I actually had no clue if he was going to be showing up anymore. - Mikasa surely told him about me and how careful you have to be around me. And he didn't come to the garden yesterday. - But I still couldn't help but wonder about him.

“ _Levi always was a mystery. Even when we lived together. He always had another aura around him, right from birth.”_ She told me when we walked home that night. - She told me that I shouldn't spend too much time around him. He's impossible to read and no one ever knows what happens inside his head. - But wasn't that like me? No one can know what happened inside my head. I can't exactly voice those thoughts.

“Don't get lost inside your head, brat.” He heard those words before. Aside from the comment. I was pretending not to notice that my heart raced when he did show up. Or when instead of taking a seat at any different place, he sat right in front of me. Fuck.

I just looked at him, and blinked. He pulled out his laptop and set his bag to the side, booting it up, I imagine.

“Im glad it was you guys Mikasa went too. I'm sure if they threw her in the foster system she would have ended up on the streets, with that temper of hers” He thought aloud. How did he know we were such good people, though? “You can sign to me, I saw you using to Mikasa the other night. I know.”

I blinked. He knew sign language?

“ _You know sign language?”_

“I learned some years ago. A close friend at the time was deaf and I needed to learn. I don't forget things easily.” He mumbled with a nod, after looking back down at his computer screen, and started typing away. “Don't you have homework?” He asked soon after I laid my head down on my backpack. No reason not to nap.

I sat up, though.  _“I can do it later.”_

“You can sleep later.”

“ _I have issues sleeping at night_.” I laid my head down again, immediately closing my eyes.

“Are your eyes different colors?” - Ah. “they weren't like that the other day.”

“ _I wear contacts, I ran out of my prescription, though.”_

“You shouldn't. Your eyes are like the fucking sunset, kid.” I was pretending I didn't feel the blush on my face, either.

He didn't really say anything much after. I had no clue what to say to before, so I kind of just stayed quiet. - And when I woke up, he was gone. My alarm woke up up, and no sight of him was in the area. It was strange, though. I don't sleep to my alarm mostly.

I had one new text message when I woke up. I wasn't sure who it was because the number wasn't stored in my phone. I rubbed my eyes before I read it.

**310 453 8872 (1 New) : I guess I can give you my number, since your Mikasa is your family and shes my family. Don't blow my phone up with useless messages. - And your pattern code on your phone makes it easy to break into, it's too generic. You should change it. - Levi.**

There was the heat to my face again. What the fuck? I typed up the cave contact in my phone, then hit the reply

**To: Levi : Okay.. I wont send you useless messages** .

I just didn't know what the difference between a useless and a regular message was, though.

 

** Day 6: **

Levi started texting me from the night I got his number. I learned that, that night his friend dragged him out of his apartment even though he had a shit ton of papers to grade. But it was okay because he was probably going to give them all fails anyway. - apparently he taught a high school class for a step ahead class. And he thought they all were stupid and had no clue why his friend asked him to teach that class. - I also learned that he hated his apartment, and he wanted to move but it was conveniently close to the campus and he can tolerate it until he can find a new job.

The next thing that stood out with Levi was he didn't ask a lot of questions about me. He asked the few, but not as much as everyone did. The past two nights I was up late texting him. Since I started texting him, I had an excuse to stay up late to work on the homework I had built up. - He knew this, too. It started last night with

** 10:01 : It's night. Do your homework, brat. **

**** 10:03 I'll get to it.

** 10:10: You're up now. You said at night.  **

10:13 Probably do it on the weekend. 

** 10:25: If you were doing work, then you  **

** wouldn't reply fast and bug me  **

10:30: Fine. 

But he still sent me a reply about how annoying his neighbor was. He couldn't get any work done. But today, a Friday, I got out of my only class of the day, and opened my phone to see a text message from him.

** 9:59: Want to help me with something? **

 This was brand new. Levi never asked me to do something for him. - It's not like I knew him all that long or we were best friends, or whatever. But he didn't ask me for a lot of favors. Was it going to be in the garden? Outside of the garden?

 10:05: Where?

** 11:12 AM: Around noon meet me in the **

** West student lot.  **

And so I did. But Levi didn't come walking up until 12:15. I was leaning against the wall of the parking structure playing a game on my phone when he came walking up.

“I'm late. It's okay.” He said. I immediately put my phone in my pocket and put my backpack back on my back. - I wonder if he was going to make me do manual labor. “I have to go for a bit of a drive and I don't want to go alone. The radio in my car is busted so your presence would be a good replacement.”

I'm a replacement for a radio. The kid who can't talk. Where is the logic in that?

I went with him, though. In 10 minutes we were loaded in his car and I was relaxed in the passengers seat.

“I hope mikasa wont mind that I stole you for a few hours.” He said, right after we turned on the freeway.

“ _she doesn't own me. I am legal.”_ I wonder if he'd tell her I said that.

“I guess. You don't live with her?” Here came the questions.

“ _Mom tried, but the dorms aren't CO:ED, and I'm in a single. But she comes in whenever she pleases.”_ I wished he could sense my irritation in my voice while answering those questions.

I knew what was next, though. I heard it a million times before. Shes just looking out for you. It's bad for you to be alone. Shes someone you can lean on. It's all okay. - To my surprise, though. He didn't press the subject. In fact, he changed to subject. Went on to a rant about his neighbors.

About an hour later he finally pulled off the freeway and pulled into a parking lot. I didn't realize that I fell asleep. - He didn't wake me, either. But I woke when he pulled into the lot. - It was a McDonalds and he was pulling out a 20 dollar bill from his pocket.

“Go inside and get us some burgers. This shit is disgusting but I don't feel like going to a place and eating inside.” He shrugged, and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel. - My head turned to the side.

“ _You want me to get the food?”_

“Are your hands or feet broke? Have you forgotten how to hold bags of food and walk less that 10 feet inside a fucking McDonalds?” His voice was harsh, but not the rude kind of harsh. I wonder if that was just how his personality was. - I simply nodded, pocketed the bills and went inside. - I realized inside he could have gone through the drive-thru.

It wasn't crowded. There were a few groups sitting inside the booths, and some kids playing in the play place, but other than that it was kind of empty. - The cashiers looked bored to death. She was smacking her gum, and looking down at her phone.

She jumped when I walked up the the counter, not noticing that I was there.

“I'm sorry! Welcome to McDonalds what can I get you?” It was then that I realized that I had forgotted my notepad, I couldn't write down what to get like the last time. - Of fucking course. I realized that I left my phone in my backpack, too. Sticking it inside there when we got in the car. - The mute kid has to order food without any means of communicating.

First I looked around, and sort of gave her a sympathetic face. She looked at me more confused than I had ever seen anyone. - I went off pure luck, and gave the sign for hamburger. Her eyes scrunched. Of course she didn't know it. - My hand went up to my head to scratch it and then blew out a sigh.

“I'm sorry.. no one on duty knows sign language..”

I'm pretty sure I was struck by a miracle when I noticed an AD for the dollar cheeseburgers sitting on the counter. I couldn't help but get over enthusiastic about that and picked it up, pointing towards it, with a huge grin.

“You want cheese burgers.. How many?”

How was I supposed to know? Fuck. I just slid over the 20 dollar bill and shrugged my shoulders.

“You want how ever many is worth 20 dollars?” I nodded slowly. She just gave me a face and nodded, fantastic.

10 minutes later, I was walking back out of the doors with 17 cheese burgers inside my arms, and back to Levi's car. - But I stopped, and stood on the curb of the joint. - I saw Levi leaning against his car with his arms crossed, speaking to someone half his size. He looked bored and uninterested. The big guy looked apologetic and a bit scared, though. - Soon he passed an envelope over into Levi's arms and he snatched it, and moved back in the car, and the man bowed to Levi.

A man who was large enough to step on Levi bowed to him. _Bowed._ What?

The man vanished inside his own car, and sped away. Confused, I walked back over towards his car. And Levi looked over at me, a dim smile written on his face.

Soon, we were driving through a suburb neighborhood, a burger inside my mouth, listening to Levi make fun of me.

“I can't believe you got us 17 burgers. I can barely have 2 of those things. I guess, college kids, you all are beasts today, eh?” I never heard Levi laugh before. His head shook. It wasn't all too bad. I devoured the burger to hide my embarrassment, though.

Eventually we came to a stop. In front of a large house with 3 cars parked inside of it, Levi parked in the spot on the street, looking up at the house.

“ _where are we?”_

 He didn't answer, though. Instead he just unbuckled himself and reached in the back for the envelope that he was given back at the parking lot. “Stay here. I'll be less than 5 minutes. Then i'll take you home.” I blinked, and had no chance to say anything. My hands were crumbling up the wrapping of a new burger, and his eyes were looking away.

He was right, though. He was less than five minutes. The house was quiet when he came went in, and he came back without the envelope. And then stole a burger of his own. “Come on, Jeager. Let's get you back to campus.” The small part of my chest didn't really want to go back to campus.

 

** Day 7:  **

I wondered if Levi was a drug dealer.

All weekend I was thinking about where Levi had taken me. I should have asked him about it on the way home. And after that I remembered about Mikasas warning the night I found out that she was related to him. - She didn't ask me about if I was spending time with him, though. I figure it can't be that crazy. - On Sunday I made a mental note to ask him about it the next time I saw him in the garden. I didn't want to ask him it through texting, It wasn't  personal enough.

But on the Monday when he came stalking through the gates of the garden and collapsing on the table, he looked dreadful. I couldn't bring myself to start up that conversation.

“hey Levi, Are you a drug dealer? I mean, I guess that's okay. But you don't do drugs, right?” I wondered if I could be okay with that. My crush being a drug dealer. Someone who did illegal things for a living.

Woah. Woah. Did I say crush?

“Brat. You look like you just took a huge crap. Are you okay.” Just having a little bit of an inner conflict. “What did I say about getting lost inside your mind?” I am positive he's not the only person who had said that. Was it a common phrase?

“ _You're the one who looks like shit.”_

“Well thank you, princess. You look like fucking Juliette.” I decided to overlook that he said I looked like a woman. “I was up late last night. When you have fucking neighbors that never shut the fuck up, and having to wake up at 6 AM for a 7 AM class to be even more annoyed. Fuck.” I was sure he was going to pass out right there.

“ _Why didn't you go right home, then?”_

“They're probably there right now. Even if I refuse to sleep in public, I can at least rest my mind here.” He said, with a sigh, leaning his head down on the table. He looked content right there. I probably shouldn't have suggested what I was suggesting next.

“ _We're close to my dorms. They're pretty much emptied up at this time of day.”_

He let out a laugh. I wanted to ignore the butterfly feeling his laugh made me feel. “It's against regulations for teachers to go to their students dorms. It'd look bad for parents visiting.” He said, though a yawn.

“ _You're not my teacher.”_ I most likely probably would have said that in a mumble. I did give a slight shrug, though.

“Mmm” He hummed, and stretched his arms out. “Stop trying to get me in your room, kid. I'm no good.” His eyes closed next. He was resting. - _He's no good._

He didn't say he didn't want to, though. I let a breath come out of my lips, and laid my own head down on the table.

 

** Day 8:  **

I didn't see him until the next Monday. He kept texting me, though. About how bored he was. About his headaches. And about how much he hated his job. How everyone was dumb. - Still, I couldn't help but to feel depressed. I guess there really was a big difference between being there with someone and talking to someone through text messages.

Monday morning I had an appointment with Dr. Smith, though. Mikasa made sure I was in his office before leaving, which already annoyed me. Dr. Smith had his same smile written over his face and not a wrinkle was in his suit, nor doctors coat. - First he performed a physical. Making sure I was okay. Poking, prodding and massaging my throat. He let out a sigh, a very small one, though. If it wasn't for my exceptional hearing I probably wouldn't have caught it.

“Hello, Eren. How have you been?”

This was the normal. I gave him a shrug and gave the sign for “ _fine._ ”

Dr. Smith knew I could hear just fine, but he still insisted on using sign language when he spoke, saying it's something that wouldn't be bad to get in the habit with the people around me. So I can communicate on another level with the people close to me.

“Have you made new friends?” Here we go.

Wait. “ _I did. One._ ”

He looked surprised, for a second. “Did you?

“ _I'm pretty sure we're friends. I have his number. We text, and hang out on occasion.”_

“Does he go to this school?”

My head shook. We ll, he didn't attend this school. I left out the fact that he worked here, because I was sure he was going to go on about how I should actually make friends with people my age and who I can connect with.

“Well it's good. I'm proud of you. Progress is a good step to acceptance.” Acceptance. I wished I could laugh. Did I have to accept this?

So, naturally, I was in a sour mood when I dragged into the garden. I wished I could see Levi today. I actually hated talking about myself. It would be fantastic if I didn't have to ever. - On the walk to the garden, I started typing up a message to Levi. Asking him what he was doing. - But entering the Garden, I saw him sitting there, at that same table, Reading a book.

But when I looked up to me, sitting in the seat right in front of him, my eyes went wide. Because his perfect, pale skin had color to it. - Black and blue color to it. He had a black and blue eye. Did he get in a fight.

“ _What happened to you?”_

“Hello to you too, Eren. Are you having a good day?”

“ _Fantastic. Your eye?”_ Levi let out a sigh. For some reason my blood boiled at the thought of someone punching him.

“This sometimes happens on the job. I fell onto a fist.” He was mumbling. On the job?

“ _Levi, you're a teacher. You don't get bruised from reading English books to high schoolers._ ” Unless one of them popped him in the eye. With his attitude, it could happen. - I still would like to punch the kid right back, though.

“I have a second job.” He said with a shrug. - Oh. _Oh._

“ _what do you do?”_ Curiosity is going to kill you, Eren.

“I'm the heir to the french mafia, and run a drug ring throughout the city.” He said bored, and sarcastic. It was sarcastic though, right? I'm sure.

“ _I'm being serious.”_

“Why do you want to know?”

Why did I want to know? Why did I care?  _“Because I care about few people, okay”_ I said, before I reached in my bag and pulled out the iced bottle of Lipton I had just bought, and shoved it to him. - He looked at it for a long time, before giving a slight smirk, and put it to his eye.

I wonder if it was a smirk or a smile, though?

“I care about you too, little shit.” I again pretended my stomach didn't do somersaults.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren dont catch feelings. It's a awful illness.   
> Levi, are you being a bad boy????
> 
> Feed back please, reader-chan. 
> 
> oh, do you guys like greek mythology? - Im working on a new project. I wonder if i should post what I have, though huh huh huh


	3. Days 9-12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone who isnt new reading this story I am changing how Eren lost his voice. - I figured to do it early enough where I can get away with it. - It wasnt much talked about yet so It's okay. But it's going to be pretty important to the plot later. 
> 
>  
> 
> I need a beta. Pls get @ me.

Day 9:

 

On a Saturday, I got a unexpected visitor. It was around 11 and I had finally decided to close my books for the night before I shoved a pencil through my brain.

Why was I taking a geology class? It's not like I'd ever travel anyway. - I was fresh from the shower, wearing only a pair of sweats that hung on my hips, and flopped into bed, sliding my phone to life.

I was trying my hardest to not be upset that I hadn't heard from Levi in a few days. (5 to be exact.) Even If I sent a few text messages to him.

**Me** : Is ur face feeling better?

**Me** : Ugh I don't want to write this essay.

**Me** : I remember that my mom used to say the sky is crying with it rained. - The sky is sad. :( :(

**Me** : Who decided that it's a good thing to have 8 AM classes. Whose idea was this?

My eyes rolled when I looked at the conversation. I was annoyed. He could have at least texted me back. Or told me to stop texting him. I wished I could yell at him. I threw my phone on the night stand and threw my face into my pillow. I had an awful feeling in my stomach. I hated it.

But why was I so upset over not seeing someone I barely knew? - The more I thought about it the more I realized I really didn't know much about him. I know he's a teacher here and that he has another job that is kind of sketchy. And he's related to my adopted sister. - But I couldn't ask Mikasa about him. I could already hear what she was going to say:

“Eren, I think it's a bad idea to keep company with him. Focus on yourself. Maybe you should see Dr. Smith more.” Ugh.

The knocking came at my door then. I can tell you that I was extremely confused, considering that no visitors were allowed in the dorms past 10, so it couldn't have been Mikasa. I'm pretty sure it wasn't Armin since he said goodnight to me 45 minutes ago, and the doors to the dorms lock at 10, so only those with a key could get inside.

Maybe it was the floor RA. - But I had never even talked to him in my life, minus the one time he tried talking to me and all I could do was stare at him. - I got up from my bed and turned my table side lamp on, before walking over to the door, tugging it open a little.

Leaning against the white wall on the other side stood Levi. His hair was wet and he had that same scowl on his face as he always had. But the bruising on his face was gone, and but his dark aura seemed to be there. He gave me the chills. But still my heart raced.

“Hi Kid.” He waved his fingers. Then he looked all around. “Can I come in?” He asked. I blinked, and nodded, stepping back and slid open the door slowly. “It's late. I hope I didn't wake you.”

I just shook my head and pointed to my desk, where my open laptop was with a book and notebook.

“Oh so you do know what studying is” He joked and flopped his small frame on my bed.

I returned his statement with the middle finger.

“ _You went MIA. I was texting you._ ” I signed to him, and sat at my desk chair, facing him. His eyes were darting up at me.

“Ahh. I had to go away for a few days for work. I left my phone at home.” He said through a yawn. “I actually just got back.”

Oh yes. His job that he never told anyone about.  _“You came here right after coming home?”_

“I didn't feel like going home. I didn't want to be annoyed with my neighbors as soon as I got back.” He leaned back against the wall and looked at me.

“ _How did you even know where my dorm is?_ ”

“I may not be your teacher but I am one. I do have access to student files.” His voice got a little more relaxed. “Are you tired?”

I nodded a little bit. Was I nervous?

“Should I go?”

I shook my head too fast. He let out a laugh at that.

“Lay down.”

He moved to the end of the bed, and stood again, sliding out of his jacket. I watched him as my stomach was doing flips. “Don't give me those eyes, it's your damn bed, you can lay in it.” He said with an eye roll, then reached in his bag and opened up his laptop and set it on the desk, connecting Netflix to it. - I decided not to say that he could have pulled it up on my computer.

I did crawl in my bed, and laid close to one edge, and looked at him as he turned the lamp off, before he crawled on the bed next to me. My heart was beating. I wondered if he could hear it pounding.

Captain America did come on the screen, and I watched a scrawny Chris Evans try overly hard to get into the military. But I didn't miss the second I felt his arms snake around my waste, and felt his body pressed against mine. I was scared I was going to stop breathing.

“Did you miss me?” He whispered in my ear and my chest raced again. “Don't move, nod.” He said, moving one arm the tug at my blanket, pulling it up. I gave a short nod. I wished I could see his face. Did he have a smile? Did he have a frown? “Good lord, Brat. That is probably a bad idea.” His voice was close to my ear. I could feel his warm breath against my skin.

I laid still, and heard his calm laughter in my ear. “Eren Jeager. What am I doing, hmm?” Was next. I'm positive I did shiver now. - I fell asleep with the shiver down my spine and Levi Ackerman's face pressed against the back of my neck. - I felt scared. But I also felt safe.

And that scared me in a whole other league.

When I woke up the next morning, I was alone. But It was like I could still feel his breath against my skin. I'm sure that wasn't a dream. - Fuck.

 

**Day 10:**

 

“Hey Eren” Jean Kierstien had turned behind to the row I was sitting in for my Oceanography class. - It was a lecture hall, and I was half asleep, honestly. - I was up late the night before studying again. As in Armin was sitting in my dorm until he drilled the history of the fallen empire of Rome in my head. “You know your friend. I heard he has a good study group.” 

I blinked. Jean was normally insufferable. I typically hated talking to him because he always made me leave with a headache. But right now he was calm, and had a long face on.

I held up my notebook which just had written ' _?? _ '

“You know. Your blonde friend. The less muscular he-man.” I couldn't hold back my eye-roll.

' _ Armin. _ ' 

“YES” He said too loudly, It made me wince, and he gave a sympathetic face. “He's in my English class, And I want into his study group. Can you ask for me?”

Wait. “ _You can't be in his English class'_

“What why?”

“ _It's honors”_

Then Jean gave me a face that looked of pure hurt. It made me want to laugh.

“Are you saying I can't be in honors class, Jeager?”

I just gave him a shrug.

“Fuck off, I'll ask him myself.” My eyes rolled at that. He turned around and crossed his arms. I just slumped back in my chair. “Excuse me for wanting help, because some of us have to try.”

When I went to the garden that afternoon, Levi was sitting there his fingers typing away at his laptop. - I sat across from him. Ignoring the fact that my chest was racing because It was clear my mind was right back in my dorm room from the other night. His breath against my skin. The words he was whispering in my ears..

“You look like you're an apple.” He said. I noticed he wasn't even looking up from his computer as he threw his fingers all over his keyboard. “Sit down, lobster.” I did and pulled my backpack in front of me, chewing on my lip slowly. “Stop thinking, Eren.” I shot him a face and then laid my head down on my bag, listening to his fingers on the keys.

My head went back to Jean, though. What he said was true, even if it sucked. He had to try. I didn't have to try. It pissed me off, but it was true. No one is going to fail the kid who got his voice taken from him. But they are going to fail the perfectly normal kid who has to try hard.

I shot my head up, and opened my bag and pulled out my text book, and my highlighter.

“What's this?” Levi was looking up at me, and looked over at my book. I just gave a shrug. “Have you decided not to sleep now, then?”

I gave him a nod.

“Eren, You look kind of depressed. You don't have to force yourself to do this. It's not that serious”

I took a long breath, and looked at Levi. “There's _someone in my class, and he is in honors classes_.”

“It's not that abnormal. A lot of people take honors because it looks better on resumes or for transfers or for a challenge..” He was speaking slowly, and raised an eyebrow.

“ _This guy, I just always thought he was kind of a slacker.”_ Levi didn't answer me. Just kept staring at me. “ _It just made me think about how expectations for me are different from everyone else”_

Levi's face didn't change, and he didn't give a sympathetic face. Nor try to talk me out of that thought.

“Well you are.” He noted and went back to typing away at his laptop. “I mean, People treat people with a disability way different from everyone else. A normal person has to try harder, so while you're allowed to slack, they're not. And it's a harsh reality but it's the truth.” He was talking at a low volume, but his same nonchalant and monotone voice he always had. It made me give him a face.

I looked back down to my book, blinking my eyes.

“Kid. Don't be down. You can be the one to prove everyone wrong and do well.” Then he reached his hand over and ruffled his hand over my hair. “I'll tell you that if you were in my class, you'd fail in a second.”

I was happy at that. And my stomach got butterflies.

 

**Day 11:**

 

On a Friday evening, I had my mouth over a slurpee from the 7-11, and walked next to Armin who was in a rant about someone in the library defacing all the books. Armin worked in the library part time and the rest of the time he basically lived there. He was majoring in English until he could go back for his masters in Library Science. 

That's when I saw Levi standing across the street at the gas station. He was leaning against his car and had a cigarette in his mouth. The pump was in his in the car, and there was a man talking to him. The other man's body language looked submissive, and his face looked worried. Levi's was calm though. Levi's face was always calm.

“Eren- What” I tugged him back, to hide behind a car that was parked on the street and couched over to look at them. Levi looked annoyed at him. I haven't seen that look in his eyes before. It was annoyed. It was frustrated. It was .. mean? “Eren, he looks scary. Do you know him?”

I didn't respond to Armin. I just looked over at Levi, who gave the guy a motion with his finger, before he reached his hand up and yanked on the taller man's hair and tugged it down to his level, and appeared to be shouting a little bit.

Yeah. This was definitely a side of Levi I haven't seen yet. It reminded me that I didn't know a lot about Levi.

“E-Eren.. we should go..” He was saying, whispering in my ear. I was still staring at Levi, who had let go of the taller mans hair, and returned his hand to his pockets. And Armin tugged on the sleeve of my jacket.

My phone buzzed from it's spot in my jacket.

**Levi:** I see you across the street. You and your blonde friend suck at hiding.

“You know him?”

I nodded to Armin, as we both stood tall. We were caught.

' _ Go back without me, Armin. He's a friend” _

Armin stood still, though. He also had a worried look on his face. “I don't think that's smart. How do you know him?”

' _ He's related to Mika. It's okay. Just go. I'll see you later.”  _ Armin didn't buy it, though.

“Okay. Text me when you get back to the dorms.” He looked across the street again, but walked away. - I looked ahead towards Levi. He was staring right at me.

I walked across the street, realizing I was squeezing the cup a bit too tight.

I gave a wave when I stood in front of him. He just rolled his eyes.

“I'm embarrassed. I got mad at him.” He said, and threw his cigarette down on the floor, crushing it with his foot. “He's a family friend that pissed me off. I also work with him.”

I nodded slowly. I also wondered why he was explaining himself.

“Did I make a good first impression on your friend?”

I just shrugged, I could only imagine what Armin was thinking.

“You seem shy today, Don't be scared Eren, You of all people, I don't want you to be scared.” What did that mean? “Are you scared?”

I was frightened. “ _ I'm not scared”  _ That scared me even more.

“Are you hungry? I know a good diner down the street. It just so happens that im fucking starving.” I gave him a smile at that, and a slight not. He was calm, now. Calm for him, at least.

He made fun of me for my eating and said with my diet, I was going to have a heart attack. He had a ceaser salad. I let him know that a salad as a main course was a joke. He called me a headache. Then he took me back to the dorms and said he'd see me soon.

I had a text from Armin on my phone saying that he was worried and that he was sorry. I also had a text from Mikasa saying that I was making a bad move. She also called me and left my a voice mail and said I shouldn't be his friend. I was scared to admit to her that I wanted to be more than just his friend.

I was scared to admit to me that I wanted to be more than just his friend.

 

**Day 12:**

Tuesday did not go at all how I expected it to go. It was long, and It was painful. And it started with my mid-day nap in the garden.

The night before I barely slept. Because since Friday, Mikasa has been blowing up my phone, and every time I saw her, talking about what my relationship with Levi was. And It was me telling her to calm down, and that hes harmless. (Did I even really believe that, though?)

When I got to the garden, Levi had his laptop, and was typing away. “Those circles under your eyes don't go good with your complexion.” He said, looking up from the screen. “I swear, what do you do at night?”

I just shrugged and laid my head on my backpack. “Rest up, brat.” He muttered as I closed off my eyes. - But I was woken up to a voice. - Levi's voice.

“Fuck. What the fuck do you think you're doing?” Levi's voice was louder than I had ever heard before. When I opened my eyes, he wasn't sitting there. And when I looked to my side, someone else was, I didn't know who It was, but it was hands, inside of his bag. “Fuck off!” He shouted again.

My first reaction was to run. But I didn't have time. It all went black, then.

When I woke up, I was in a dark room, in a comfortable big bed. - The bed wasn't my own, which confused me. But it was way more comfortable than the one that the college provided for us.

I also had a pounding headache. I reached up to rub my fingers over my head, rubbing over it. There was a bump, of course. - I rubbed over my eyes and sat up. Have I been kidnapped? - It was all fuzzy. I had no clue where I was, or what happened.

“You're awake.” Levi's voice said. I was with Levi. “You were starting to scare me, Kid. You weren't waking up.” I saw him standing at the steps to the room, with his hands over a coffee cup.

“ _Is this your home?”_

“I'd hardly call this shit hole apartment my home, but whatever. Yeah. Someone was trying to rob us, figuring I wouldn't show up, but there I was.” He sat on the bed next to me, and leaned over me to set the cup on the night stand. “I wasn't quite sure where to take you, so I just brought you here.”

“ _You could have taken me to the dorms?”_

His head shook. “No. The dorms were too far away, and you're pretty heavy, It looked kind of suspicious having me carrying someone that has a bit of height on me across the campus, unconscious. My apartment is literally right across the street.” He said, and nodded towards the cup. “It's tea. Herbal. Drink it, it's supposed to be good for you. I have a doctor friend I called. He said he'd come over after he closes up his clinic.”

I looked at him. He was wearing a black v-neck with a pair of sweats. His hair was wet. Did he take a shower.

“ _I think i'm okay. Just a headache, I'm sure it'll pass.”_ I took the tea after I finished, putting it to my lips.

“It's better safe than sorry.”

I looked around his apartment, and It wasn't anything outstanding. It was a studio, and there was a small island that separated the kitchen from the living room. Where there was a TV and a deep red couch. There was a book-case next to a desktop computer on a desk, and three steps that led too another room, the bathroom I'm guessing, and another set of steps that led to the bedroom area. It was small and simple. It was actually very Levi.

“ _Did the guy get away?”_

Levi's head nodded. “Yeah. He ran away right after hitting you in the back of your head.” He laughed lightly, and shrugged. “You scared me, you know.” He mumbled next, laying back on the bed.

I turned to look back at him.

“It's probably bad that you hang around me. These things happen. It'll just get worse.”

I blew air out of my lips and laid back next to him. Then I signed words that scared me, and I'm not even sure why I said it.

' _ I don't really care.” _

He looked at me for a long time with his slanted eyes, rubbing his lips together. His next move was unexpected.

Because he leaned over and looked right in my eyes, his hands going down too wrap around my wrists. My face was getting hot. His forehead was touching him.

“Do you make a lot of mistakes in your life, Eren?” He asked, slowly. I swallowed.

Then his lips were on mine. And fireworks were going off behind my eyes. - His lips were soft and slow, and his grip on my wrists was slightly tighter, but his lips were as soft as ever. - And then the kiss was over. And his gray eyes were staring right into mine.

“Fuck kid. I need to stop getting lost in these eyes.” His voice was almost inaudible.

And then the knock on the door came, and that moment was over. My wrists were released, and he was throwing the front door open.

“Ah, Erwin.” He spoke, and I pulled my head out of my mind, stopping myself from replaying what had just happened two seconds ago to see Dr. Smith standing there.

“Eren?” Dr. Smith said. I never got to my feet so fast.

“You know him?” Levi asked.

“He's my patient. So you're the one Levi's been spending all his time with. - and I presume that Levi is the friend you mentioned in our last session?”

I gave him a nod, and slid my hands in my pockets.

“You don't do psych?” Levi seemed to catch on.

“His father is an old friend.” He mumbled, and pulled a smile on, setting his bag on the desk. “Eren, you got hit? You should have gone right to the clinic after..”

Dr. Smith brought me to sit on Levi's computer chair, and examined me.

“It was hard when he just woke up.” Levi was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed.

“ _You didn't have to come, I just have a headache”_

“I was planning on giving Levi a visit anyway.” Erwin nodded, and stretched my eyes, shining a light into them. I winced. “Eren, you didn't come this week. I was worried.”

I just shrugged.

“Come next week?”

I nodded slowly.

“Just because he lost his voice, doesn't mean he needs therapy” Levi pushed off the wall as he said it, and ran his fingers through his hair.

“ _It's okay.”_ I shrugged. “ _Am I fine?”_

“Just take pain killers, you seem fine, but I'd have your sister take you to a scan, if you don't feel better.” I just nodded at Dr. Smiths words.

“ _I'm gonna go.”_ I smiled to Levi. He watched me with his eyes. - I was still just wondering what had happened.

“I'll give you a ride.” Levi said, and I just shook my head.

“ _I'm fine. I can walk. It's not that far. I'll see you later.”_ Then I turned to Dr. Smith, and nodded my head to him. “ _Thank you.”_

“Don't skip out on next week.” He reminded me. Now he knew where to find me. I just sighed, grabbed my backpack that was leaning against the wall by the door, and slid inside my shoes, which were lined with my bag.

Too much happened today. I'm sure Dr. Smith was going to ask me 100 questions about my relationship with Levi next week. But I couldn't think about that. All I could think about was the fact that Levi had kissed me.

Levi Ackerman kissed me.

I was way too happy about that. - I'm sure if it wasn't dark as I walked home, everyone around would see the red blushing over my face, I sure as hell felt it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren, stop being a uke blushy uke////   
> Levi, what do you do for a living?!?!?!   
> Erwin, stop. Just stop. 
> 
> I think the career i chose for Armin was fitting.   
> Funnote: I wanted to be a librarian, but spending that much time in school, since in the state of California, you have to get a Masters in Library Science to become a librarian.   
> But i used to work in one. I love it so hard. - wow, you guys don't care. 
> 
> I connect to books better than humans. 
> 
> hey follow my tumblr, my username is - cinnamonbaraking


	4. days 13-16

**Day 13:**

“So Eren, How have you been?” Dr. Smith had said to me as soon as I sat in his office on Monday. Because I’m sure that’s what he wanted to talk about. No, I didn’t even have to hear his words and I’m sure that’s now what he wanted to know. He should just say it.

How do you know Levi? How long have you known Levi? Do you know who Levi is?

To be honest, I was thinking the same thing. How did I get in this situation? My face got hot just thinking about what happened in our last meeting. He kissed me. Levi kissed me. – And didn’t talk about it after. He didn’t say a word to me about how my made my stomach do flips. – Or much of anything because the next morning I woke up to a text from Levi saying that he was called out of town on an emergency and would be back late Sunday night. – Again.

_“I’m okay, I suppose.”_ It was always hard to read Dr. Smith’s face, he just nodded and scribbled on his notebook.

“Have you been taking the medication?” I just gave him a nod. “I wonder if I should up your dosage.” He said again, scribbling down on his notebook.

_“Aren’t you going to ask me about Levi?”_ Erwin’s face didn’t budge. No way could he have forgotten.

“I was going to get around to him. How do you know him? How well?” There it was.

_“I met him around the school. We’re friends.”_ Erwin had a smile on his lips. What was that? Was he laughing at me? “ _What?”_

“Nothing, nothing. It’s just.. I’ve known him for quite a while. And he doesn’t even let his close friends into his apartment.. I mean hell, I’ve only been there twice including that time and I just found it odd.” His hands were now folded over his lap. What was that facial look? “Do you know what he does for a living?”

Did he? I wonder how they even knew each other.

“ _He teaches here.”_ I knew that much.

Dr. Smith just scribbled a little more, then looked at me. “Just.. If you want to get close to Levi, I’d say be careful. Rarely does he keep people close and the times he does the outcome isn’t as fantastic. I just fear in your condition..” My condition? As the kid who can’t talk? Or the kid who is so drugged up he can’t feel anything.

I left his office 10 minutes later with another prescription for whatever else mental illness I have this time and a giant sigh. – I almost walked right into Levi as I left the door to reception.

“Eren.” He greeted. I didn’t want to admit that feeling of my heart speed up when I saw him, or the feeling of relief that today wouldn’t totally suck. “Did you just see Erwin? Really? He made you come?” I just gave him a shrug and put my hands in my pockets. “Do you have class left today? Or plans?” My head shook at that. I was going to study with Armin later, but..  I saw Levi reach in his pocket and pull out his car keys. “I parked in the employee level in lot C, just outside, wait there for me and we’ll go get lunch.” Levi said, and brushed his palm over the side of my neck before walking into the office.

My skin wasn’t burning where he touched it. – I blew out a breath. Then I moved out of the health building and towards the lot where he was parked.

Levi’s car was as spotless as his apartment. It was perfectly shined and vacuumed. He had a clean linen scent air freshener hanging from the mirror. He would have that scent, wouldn’t he?

He came 10 minutes after I got myself seated in the passengers seat, my backpack sitting in the backseat, clutching Dr. Smiths prescription in my hands.

“Hey brat. Are you keeping out of trouble?” He smirked, as he pulled out of the spot, and out of the garage.

“ _What exactly can I do?”_ My eyes rolled.

“It’s the quiet ones who are the trickiest.” He had a teasing tone, and turned down a street, and moved to looking at my hands. “What’s that?” He switched to looking at the road, then back to me slowly. I just passed it over to him, and watched as he examined the paper. I swear I saw his jawbone clench. “what the fuck is that old man thinking?”

The vibe in the car had changed completely, and his driving sped up. I never seen this part of Levi. He wasn’t even saying anything, just breathing a bit deeper than normal.

“It’s like, a kid shows depression or something and the first option is to shove a fucking kid up on medication.. I don’t understand.” He was mumbling, and not looking at me. “Drugs don’t always fix kids. Especially kids who aren’t fucking broken.” He stopped at a red light and opened the glove box, pulling out a lighter, lighting the prescription on fire, watching the flame go down. My eyes widened as it happened. That couldn’t be safe. – No. No. This completely wasn’t safe. This isn’t safe at all.

When it was half-way burned he shook the fire out, and crumbled the paper, throwing it out the window, speeding up the car again. – My head turned to look out the window to where he threw it, watching the paper fall backwards into traffic. What was going through his head right now?

The only thing he said was “Your brain isn’t broken. Don’t let him believe you are broke.” And nothing else was said on the matter.

We went to a pizza place that I have never been too before and devoured a pizza that Levi didn’t stop complaining over the grease. He was dabbing at his slices after ever bite and kept making noises at the food. He also made comments that I looked like an animal at that.

“Imagine how that’s going to be coming out.”

This time he got a dirty look from me. That earned a laugh from him.

_“Tell me about your childhood.”_ I asked, as he was taking a drink of his soda. An eyebrow of his just raised.

“Well I thought you knew, My uncle took in Mikasa.. He was kind of a dick so.” He shrugged.

“ _I mean you, I know about her.”_  

Levi laughed, and shook his head. “Don’t ask the questions you don’t want to hear, brat.” He reached over and up, and shook out my hair.

I was scared that he didn’t want to tell me about his childhood.

 

 

**Day 14:**

**“** What is it you’re drawing?” I hadn’t noticed I was drawing anything when I looked down at my book and I was doodling over the sides of my history text book.

I blinked up and looked at Levi. He wasn’t looking at his laptop anymore, but he was looking at my book instead. I hadn’t even realized I was drawing again. – It’s something I had picked up since I couldn’t exactly sing anymore.

“ _Oh. I don’t know.”_ I blinked down at it. I don’t think you could even call it a person. Probably not even human. They had weird distortions, and the faces were ugly. They were tall, and ugly. Levi was blinking at them. Beasts?

“Do you draw often?” My head shook. “What even is your major?”

What even was my major?

“ _General Ed.”_  

“Your major is General Education?” I didn’t reply. “Really, Eren? You’re in a university and you declared your major as General Education? This isn’t even your first fucking semester of college.” Levi’s voice was a bit louder than his normal low and monotone voice. “What did you want to be?”

I pressed my lips together and looked at him, then down at my hands. “ _I wanted to be a singer. Before my accident I was in a band. We were liked in my hometown. We played at a lot of parties and events._ ” I admitted, a shrug following.

My eyes looked up at him when he released a slight sigh. It was the quietest one I’ve ever heard before. But for the first time his eyes were sympathetic. This was it. I knew there was a time when he’d give in and feel bad. Everyone always gives in and feels bad.

“Was the only thing you do sing? You didn’t play any instrument?”

I looked up to him again, and blinked, shaking my head. “ _I played the keyboard and guitar.”_

“So why didn’t you major in music?” I just stared at him until he spoke again. “Don’t give me that. You can be in a band without you being the singer. I get that was your position but you get that you can still make music without having a voice. Do you still play your instruments?”

How could I?

My head shook.

“ _My mom thought having my instruments in my room when I came home would make me feel worse so she put them in storage.”_

“And you can’t get them out?” Did I even want to get them out? 

“ _She lost her storage. Everything got auctioned.”_  I couldn’t look at him with that. He just let out a slight laugh. It wasn’t a funny one, it was a ‘are you serious’ one. When she told me everything was lost, I had already given up, after all.

“Eren” Levi started, but he got cut off by his phone going off from his pocket. He pulled it out and looked at the screen for a second. “Of fucking course.” He cursed, and I’m pretty sure he slammed his phone to his ear. “this better be good. I told you not to fucking call me during this time… What?” Now his voice got low. There was malice in it. “And you told him what would happen? .. And he still.. Fuck.” He hissed. He was already starting to load his things in his bag. “I don’t fucking care. We have rules for a reason. Keep everyone there .. No. I don’t fucking care. No one is leaving unless it’s in a fucking body bag. I will be there in 10 minutes.” And he hit ‘end’ shoving his phone in his pocket. The look in his eyes was dark. The chill shot down my spine.

But then his soft eyes returned, and he looked to me.

“Work calls. I’m sorry.” He smiled and got to his feet. “I’ll text you later. See you later, Mon Coeur” then he waved his fingers at me, and he disappeared from the garden.

I watched him go even more of a mystery than I had already known. Levi was a mystery that made me shiver. His tone was utter dark when he was hissing into his phone than when he spoke to me. What did he do? It scared me. It scared me even more that I wasn’t as scared as I should be.

That night around 7 Mikasa was in my room, and we were studying. Well.. She was. I was laying on my bed pretending to care what happened in the 1500 in another country. We had the TV onto some cooking show on low so she could pay attention, but still have noise on. – Levi still hadn’t texted me from when he left. The silhouette from where he walked away was still branded in my mind. I had bit down over my lip when Mikasa spoke up.

“What’s on your mind?” She made me jump. “You look distressed.”

“ _How much do you know about Levi?”_  I doubt Mikasa felt good about me asking about him. I know every time his name got brought up she asked too many questions.

“Eren, I said you shouldn’t hang around him. He’s..” She couldn’t even finish. “Different.” Did she know about him? “why are you asking?”

“ _I want you to give me more independence. I love you, but how am I going to learn?”_ I wasn’t looking at her. I couldn’t look at her.

“Eren.. I understand but.. I’m just looking out for you”

I don’t know what had come over me next. I had no idea why I let myself get mad. I hadn’t let myself get upset at her for a long time. I didn’t even know how to show my anger to her anymore. I couldn’t show my anger. I just slammed my fist into my bed. I didn’t want to look her in the face. I couldn’t.

She was quiet for a long time, too. But she didn’t go back to studying, too.

“I don’t know a lot about her. I know that his uncle was involved in a lot of things, bad things. And that his side of the family came from a bad place and a dangerous place. I know that Levi has a history of violence and they say you grow up like what you’re around.. Uncle Kenny really wasn’t a good person.” She just shrugged.

_“I’m sorry.”_ I listened, but still couldn’t look at her. I just took slow breaths.

She hugged me, next. And smiled. “I understand.”

I doubt she did.

“Are you going home for spring break next week?” I didn’t even want to think about going home for spring break next week. My head shook. Hers fell.

“ _Why?”_ She sat up from her position next to me on the bed, and chewed on her lip.

“Annie wants me to come visit her at her college.” Annie was Mikasa’s girlfriend from high school. They both were the only girls on the wrestling team and Annie ended up going to a school upstate. “But if you’re staying here then I..”

“ _Go. You don’t have to babysit me. Go see your girlfriend. I’m not utterly helpless, you know”_

“I know” She replied. “But I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

My eyes rolled, and she left not long afterward. When I finally got into bed and attempted to fall asleep, Levi finally texted me.

Levi (11:30 PM) : I’m finally home. I’m beat. But goodnight.

Levi: (11:31 PM): Mon Coeur

I don’t know what that meant, but it made my face hot.

 

**Day 15** :

On my last day of midterms, I stared at the rain darting down the middle of campus and felt depressed. I couldn’t go to the garden today because it was raining way too heavy. I let out a breath, and looked up to the grey sky.  I was standing in the doorway from the Humanities building, sulking when I felt my feet stumble. That’s when I realized I’ve been pushed away.

“Get out of the way, moron. Some people have places to be.” I slipped from where I was pushed, and had to catch myself before my face crashed into the wet concrete. – It hurt. My hands were messed up, and  on the floor was my blood from where the scratch was in my hand.

I never wanted to yell at someone so much in my life. He was nowhere to be found when I got to my feet, though. My hand burned, and my head was hurting. Weren’t normal people supposed to be happy that mid-terms were over? Wasn’t that how it was supposed to happen? 

I cleaned my hands up in the bathroom before leaving the campus, realizing I was walking in the complete other direction than where the dorms were. I also realized that when I stopped walking I was standing in front of Levi’s apartment building. I didn’t even realize I remembered where it was.

I rubbed my lips together and took out my phone, scrolling my hand over his name.

To: Levi (2:15 PM) : Hey. I’m in the area, Are you at home? I can meet you somewhere..

Before I found finish the message though, for the second time that day, I hit the floor. This time I was tripped by someone much older than the last, and he was there when I lifted myself up from this one. He had the nastiest look on his face. He was older and next to him was a woman, with short red hair.

“Oh my god!” The girl said, and leaned down to try to help me up.

“Tsk. Kids, never looking where they were going! Psh. Do you know how much these shoes were!” But then he bit his tongue.

“Oh shut up!” The girl said. “Are you okay, sweetie?”

I just got to my feet and picked my phone up again. It didn’t crack, thankfully. I just nodded and gave an apologetic smile, before bowing to them slowly, unsure how else to say sorry, and entered the building.

I walked over to the elevator and pressed the up button before realizing what apartment his was, let alone what floor was his.

I tugged my phone out again, wiping the wet from it, before I heard the ding of the elevator, and began re-typing the message, stepping inside. But then I heard. “Eren?”

It was Levi. Finally, something good.

“What are you doing here?” I rubbed my lips together,

“ _I was in the area.. I was going to text you..”_  He talked before I finished, though.

“What the fuck happened to your wrist? And you’re all fucking wet.” He grumbled, and made a ‘tsk’ noise, then sighed. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned..” But then his phone buzzed in his hand, and his eyes rolled. “Impatient fucking..” Levi reached in his pocket and slid me a key. “Here, Floor 9 apartment 902. Clean yourself up. I’ll be up really quick.. Don’t leave the bathroom though, please? I don’t want filth all over my furniture..” He then stepped away from the elevator and pressed his phone to his ear, talking quiet in the phone.

I did as I was told and went to his apartment. I realized it was the one right when you got off the elevator, and they key did work. I didn’t lock it, though. How would he get in?

I left my shoes and backpack next to the door and walked into the apartment. It was all how it was that night. My eyes went right to the bed, where the memories of him flooded back to me. That was where he kissed me. My face went hot again. 

I walked right for the bathroom and let out a breath. When I looked at myself in the mirror my face was hot. I looked like a 16 year old girl again. I rolled my eyes. Get yourself together, Eren.

I pealed my wet jacket off with my shirt, leaving me in just my undershirt and jeans. I took my socks off too, since they were soaked, too.

My hand had gotten worse. I really wished people wouldn’t be so rude. I wondered when exactly I let myself get pushed around, though.

_When you got your head smashed in a fucking windshield._

I clenched my jaw and ran my hand under the water, letting the water wash away the excess blood. I realized that I got my forearm too, as well. My eyes rolled.

“You really do suck at taking care of yourself, eh?” I jumped when Levi’s voice appeared in the doorway. “Come here. Sit on the toilet.” He pushed the top down and pointed, moving behind me and opened the cabinet.

I did as told, and bit on my lip as he pulled out a box of gauze.

“ _It’s just a scratch”_ He grabbed my arm and started wrapping it around the scratch on my forearm. His eyes rolled, and then he pressed a piece of medical tape to the end of it, and opened a band aid and put it over my palm.

“You’re reckless. Who is going to protect you?” It took everything in me not to say ‘you’. Then he shoved cloth at me. “Put it on. Your clothes a fucking soaked and I’m kicking your ass if you touch any of my furniture with that on.” Then he left.

The shirt barely went to my mid-drift and the sweats went above my ankles. I looked like a kid refusing to take off my small pjs.

I bundled my clothes up and brought them out. He was in the kitchen, standing by the stove.

“I’ll put those to dry.” He said, and I blinked. He had a dryer in this place? – He disappeared behind swinging doors, and came back a few minutes later. I was seated at one of his bar stools along his island. “you should have texted me when you left school instead of getting soaked and hurt.” His eyes rolled and he reached up to get tea packets from the cupboard. “Why’d you come, anyway?”

I shrugged slowly, and leaned my jaw on my hand, watching him.

“You’re ridiculous. A brat.” He mumbled. I just stuck my tongue out at him. “

The silence was nice for a little bit. I watched Levi make our tea. And watched him move. He moved quiet and slow. He wasn’t dressed in layers here. He looked calm. It was like he could let his guard down here.

When he set my cup in front of me, and looked up to him. “ _I think I want to stop taking most of my medication”_ His eyebrows raised as he moved his cup to his lips. He was holding it weird.

“Oh?”

I nodded, and looked down at my drink slowly. “ _I want to be me. Independent.”_

“The brat wants to be independent when he walks around in the rain and walks to weird men’s apartment without letting him know.” He had a smirk on his lips.

I didn’t even think about him not wanting me here. “ _Were you busy? Did you not want me here?”_

He laughed and walked around the bar to sit at the stool next to me, and ran his fingers through the back of my hair. “You can come anytime you want. I don’t care. Just don’t make a habit of it.” He told me and returned to his drink.

Did he want me here? He wasn’t mad?

“Are you going home for spring break?” He asked after a few minutes. My head shook. I got too many long texts from mom complaining that I wasn’t coming. “Going to stay with Mikasa?”

“ _she’s going to see her girlfriend upstate”_ I told him before sipping my drink again. It was Green Tea. It felt nice going down my throat.

“She has a girlfriend?” Another nod. “Huh. That’s good for her. I’m glad she’s happy.” At least with Annie she’d be able to smile. “so you’re going to be alone?”

“ _well, My friend is going home, but he’s just going home for Easter, so he’ll be back on Tuesday.”_  Mikasa probably asked Armin to come back instead of staying with his grandpa all week.

“They’re leaving today?” I nodded. He just hummed in response.

We eventually moved to his couch and I listened to Levi complain over a bad horror movie I didn’t even know the name of. His most common rant was for them to at least make it look scary, or even remotely scary. He drove me home around 5 in time to see off Mikasa with his promise to see me soon.

**Day 16:**  

Sunday was Easter morning. It was also the morning I had the unfortunate experience to have banging on my door at 6 AM. When I heard the banging the first time, I wanted to scream. But I rolled over to the other side. Who in their right mind would be here this early? I wanted to throw my bedside clock.

But the banging didn’t stop. It continued on for a long time, until it came on my wall, next. “FUCKING JEAGER, ANSWER YOUR FUCKING DOOR.” That was Jean, who roomed on the next dorm room from me, also spending Easter Sunday at home.

I kicked my blanket off me, watching it fall to the floor when I dragged myself to the door, and yanked it open too fast. I almost missed Levi standing there, with an angry expression on his face.

“Do you not know how to open your door, or are you really that heavy of a sleeper?” Levi asked, and pushed in my dorm. “Do you really sleep in your jeans? That’s fucking disgusting. You need to get some pjs. – Whatever. Get changed. We’re going out”

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Why was he here at 6 AM on Easter morning. I closed to door and watched him scowl at the state of my dorm.

“Do you know it’s regulation to keep these at least mildly clean?” He hissed towards me, kicking at my abandoned blankets on the floor. “Why are you just standing there. Put clothes on. Do something with your fucking hair.”

“ _Where are we going?”_  

“You ask too many questions. Can’t you go along with it?” I just stared at him, and crossed my arms at my chest. “Fine. We’re going on a drive to the beach.” On Easter?

I looked out of the window. It was still pouring. Spring showers were still in effect. “ _It’s pouring.”_

“that’s the thing about weather, it changes where you go, and lucky for us the closest beach is hours away so it’s not raining in that region so let’s fucking get dressed and go.” He said, and grabbed at my arms and shoved me towards my closest. I wanted to groan. But another part of me was happy he was here with me.

I did get dressed. I put on a pair of cut-offs because it may be warm, but I doubt it’d be too warm. And I threw on a regular v-neck shirt with a parka. When I got back after getting dressed he gave me a dirty look.

“You’re a walking contradiction. A fucking warm jacket with a pair of shorts.” I raised my hands, but he cut me off. “I don’t care. Let’s go. We’re wasting time. Ready?”

I grabbed my phone and wallet and left with him.

In the car I replied to a text from my mom, saying she wished I was home, but understood why I wanted to stay. One from Mikasa telling me to be careful, and from Armin telling me happy Easter. Though, he I had no clue why any of them were up at this time. I also got rid of my many e-mails.

“ _I can drive”_

Levi shot me a look. “Do you have a license?”

“ _I know how”_ I was pouting, I’m sure of it.

“but are you licensed?” I didn’t say anything. He shook his head. “nope, you’re not driving my fucking car without a fucking license in that wallet.” He told me. My eyes rolled.

“ _My dad would let me”_ I looked out the window, at the rain beating down on it.

“Oh Eren, I sincerely hope you don’t see me as a father figure in your life.” He muttered, and went back to paying attention to the road. I definitely did not see him in that way.

Two hours into the drive, we were stopped at a road block. They said they’d be done and the cars would be able to pass soon so Levi decided to just wait, not like there was any way to turn around anyway. I took the chance to talk to him.

“ _Why aren’t you with your family?”_

“Because Mikasa is visiting her girlfriend, apparently.” My eyes rolled.

“ _You have other family too, your uncle?”_  I noticed how Levi’s jaw clenched at that statement.

“He doesn’t live here.” I probably shouldn’t have pushed it.

“ _Where does he live?”_

He looked around, the traffic finally managing to move. “The Texas state penitentiary. He re-located there for life 4 years ago.” Shit. I didn’t push anymore.

2 more hours into the drive, we finally made it to the coast. The sun wasn’t out. And the sand was damp. The waves were moving too high, and the beach was mostly deserted.

I didn’t tell Levi that this was the first time I been to the coast.

I had my hands tucked deep in my parka and walked beside him until we reached a spot on the beach. He threw down a blanket and we sat on the beach, on a hill that overlooked the ocean. He let out a breath, and leaned his head back, looking up at the gloomy skies.

“I’ll take you back here when the sky is blue and it’s not ugly. You think spring break is a good time to go to the coast, but I guess you have to be in California and Florida to have that.” He said, with a shrug. “Maybe we’ll come in the summer. You’ll have fun then.” He said, with a nod.

He looked back, and looked at me. “ _I am having fun.”_ His eyes rolled, though, and gave that small smirk.

“You’re an annoying brat” His voice was low, and almost non-existent. 

“ _Why does Dr. Smith and Mikasa tell me to stay away from you?”_  I asked him next. His head shook and he went back to his last pose, and laughed lightly. It was kind of a tragic laugh, actually.

“I suppose because you should stay away from me. Mikasa doesn’t know just why you should stay away from me, but she’s smart so. Erwin knows and I even told you that. I’m no good, Eren Jeager.” His eyes closed. But he spoke again. “But I can’t seem to stay away from you. I don’t know why. You remind me of someone I used to know but.. I can’t really put my hand on it.” He let out a low breath again, opening to look at me.

He reached his arm up, and slid his smooth fingers over my cheeks lightly. His touch was soft, and left my skin with tingles.

“I try and try and try but I can’t pin-point who you are. And I can’t seem to stop wanting to see you. You’re a fucking leech in my mind.” I wasn’t sure if it was an insult. I wasn’t sure but it still left me with butterflies. I couldn’t even form words. “I can’t tell you what I do, or who my family is. And I know it’s hard liking someone you don’t know a god damn thing about.” My eyes widened, and my hands shook. “Don’t fucking give me that, brat. I know how you look at me. That’s exactly how I look at you.” My face went red and I looked down. “I suck with words.. Please just don’t ask me what I do.. please?”

I was looking at him. I was looking in his eyes and he was chewing on his lip. This was a face of Levi’s I’ve never seen before. He looked.. Stable. He didn’t look full of emotion. He looked kind. But he looked desperate. He wasn’t put 100 percent together. Was this the Levi that I knew? Was this the real Levi?

I couldn’t help myself. I leaned over and pressed my lips right against his. His lips were soft, warm, and moist. My eyes closed as he moved his hands to my cheeks and brushed his fingers against my skin with the softest motion. This kiss lasted longer, and had more of a spark to it. We weren’t interrupted in it, and it sent a warm feeling down my insides.

He pulled away first, and looked in my eyes, not moving his hands from my cheeks.

“Fuck man. What are we even doing? This isn’t like me. I’m out of my element.” His words were quiet, barely a whisper. He moved my head and pulled me into his embrace. My cheek was in his shoulder and his arms tightened around mine. “There is no turning back now, I guess.”

No. No there really wasn’t.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i started to read fairy tail, and i'm slowly killing myself because i'm barely even on 140 and i am already hurting SO BAD. I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. 
> 
> fic related : Im so happy with how everyone is loving the story. I think some of you may be on the right path, but you'll see how it is when his secret gets unraveled! 
> 
> and when i posted my tumblr, i think i gave my old username to the blog i closed lol - follow my new one lol   
> thecinnamonbaraking.tumblr. 
> 
> see you next week!


	5. Days 17-20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Levi's uncle is a dick, Levi's is a bad ass, Eren is a cinnamon roll, and his daddy is a dick too.

**Day 17:**

Levi was my boyfriend. I’m pretty sure he’s my boyfriend. I mean, he confessed to me. At least.. I think he confessed to me. And we kissed. I mean he said that he knew that I liked him. And he said he felt the same way. – And we kissed again. Then he dropped me off and said he’d see me around because he has to get work done sometime without me around.

I’m pretty sure we’re dating. Well.. he hasn’t really changed in the texts he’s sent me since Sunday. It’s all just him complaining about how dumb everyone is and about how he wants to spread blood on his neighbors door.. (I’m being honest about that one, I have the text to prove his actual words.) and of course him calling me a brat and a shit head didn’t change, either.

“Eren? Are you listening to me?” Oh right, Armin was talking. We were getting ice cream while Armin actually came out of his library cave to breathe. He said, ‘ _you know, Eren. You should be preparing for your classes too. There’s only 2 months left of the semester.’_

I nodded towards him and smiled. Armin was an over-achiever.

“Armin!” a voice yelled from the background. It was Jean. My eyes immediately rolled. “Oh. Jeager.” His head nodded. My eyes just rolled. “I looked for you in the library, they said you stepped out. It’s rare..” He had on a big smile that freaked me out. Jean was praising Armin, it seemed like. And Armin had.. pink on his cheeks.

Just what was even going on with them?

“ _You know this person?”_ I faced Armin, and he shook his hands fast.

“I’ve been tutoring Jean here. We have a class together.” This made my eyebrow raise. This was news to me.

“Some of us need to pass.” Jean spat. I think he should be punched.

“Jean.” Armin shot a glare. But he was cut off, because a sudden car came to a stop and a woman stepped out.

She had brown hair, and glasses. She had a thin body, but not overly thin like a lot of women around the campus. She was wearing a white lab coat and her hair was in a messy tail. “Eren? You’re Eren, right?”

She had opened the backseat of her car, and gave a smile towards me.

“Who are you?” Armin answered for me. I’ve never seen this woman before in my life. 

“Are you Eren? Eren Jeager?”

I just nodded towards her. “Oh yes,  I heard that you couldn’t speak. It’s okay, I know sign language. My name is Hanji. We have a mutual friend.”

My face was still in confusion. Two men got out of the car behind her. “I’m really sorry about this. I have orders from someone higher up than me.” Then she looked behind at Armin. “I’m going to have to borrow Eren for a little bit. Don’t worry, we’ll return him soon.” She gave a wink, before a nod. And the next thing I knew I was in the back of her car. And the last thing I heard from outside the car was Armin’s voice screaming my name.

“Oh please don’t struggle. We won’t hurt you. We just have someone who wants to meet you.” She was now next to me, with a huge grin on her face. She was jumping up and down and it seemed like she forgot how to frown. “I’m actually so happy for Levi. He finally let someone in. After so long..”

Levi? Did they know Levi? Did they have Levi?

“Oh don’t give me that face. No one will touch Levi. I’m pretty sure if someone did have their hands on that man he’d lay them flat.” She laughed, “Speed up, will ya? He’s going to realize that he’s with us eventually.” Hanji flicked whoever was driving in the back of their head and laughed.

“ _How do you know him..?”_

“You can call me a close friend. Colleague. I’ve known him for a long time. But I can tell you, that he never neglects his power just for some kid so I wonder if you’re special somehow?” She asked, rubbing her hands over her chin. “Oh we’re here!!” I looked out of the window and saw a huge mansion. It was gated and had.. Well I couldn’t even be sure how many stories it had.

“We’re here, Ms. Zoe.” The driver had gotten out, and opened the door to the car.

My head was hurting, I had no clue what was going on..

“Please don’t try to run away. I don’t really want to tie up your hands. He’ll do worse than anything if he gets you when you’re hurt.” Hanji whined, and stood outside of the car, holding it open for me.

I should run. I really should run away. What situation have I gotten myself into..

I don’t even have my voice to yell my way out of it.

“Come. We won’t hurt you.” Hanji said. She had too much kindness on her face too be a kidnapper. Could she be telling the truth?

I went with her. Staying close to her side, but still cautious about my surroundings. – Whosever house this was, though. It was beautiful. It was big, and they clearly had the money to keep it kept up. – I was led through a room with a bunch of people sitting around. Was this a house? It looked more like a dorm, honestly.

I recognized two of the people sitting. It was the asshole that made me trip in the rain last week and his red-haired friend.  


“Oh that’s that brat that was at the boss’s house!” The jerk said. Then he bit his tongue.

“Shut up.” The red head said, and smiled. Her face was too nice compared to his. “You’re Eren, right? I’m really sorry about the other day.. and for this guy.. He’s..” Her smile was one of an angel, that was for sure, though.

“Come, Eren.” Hanji said, directing me with her finger. I just smiled at the woman and followed her lead. My heart was racing the further I got into his house.

She led me into a room with a lot of books, it had a love seat and a long couch. “Go tell Kenny we’re in the study.” He moved her head to the man escorting us from behind. He was frightening looking, too. I sat on the couch, where directed and Hanji sat right behind me.

She was looking right at me. She was staring.

“Eren. How did you loose your voice?” She asked right off the bat. “You have to tell me everything about you. What is your top 3 favorite movies? Books? Do you like tomatoes? Onions? Oh! What’s your zodiac sign? What about your bloodtype? Do you know? I believe that everyone should know their bloodtype, It’s vital information, remember it like your social security number. I can help you find out it! I have a lab downtown, it’ll take like.. 15 minutes!” Her giant smile was back. I was scared.

“Back off the boy, Zoe. We’ve only just met him..”

Hanji immediately stood up. An older man entered the room. He had a nice suit on, and he needed to shave. It also looked like he had dark circles around his eyes. – I stood too. His face was different from everyone else’s. He had a frightening aura around him.

“Hmm. You can sit. You’re not meeting the king.” He laughed, more to himself and sat in the chair. “You’re Eren. The one my nephew has been infatuated with..” He said, crossing his legs.

Was this his uncle? Mikasas too? – Wait. No. He couldn’t be, Levi said he was..

“Kenny can sign, as well. We all had to learn it for a friend.” Hanji’s head went down at that statement, too. Kenny’s head just nodded.

“ _I was told you were in Prison..”_  

This earned a laugh. His face lightened a bit. “Ah, he does know how to twist a story, eh? No. No. I was but under a few circumstances I was released. – I was told you know my niece as well.. ah what was her name..”

He forgot his own nieces name?

“Mikasa, Sir.” Hanji answered for him.

“Yes! Your family took her in, yes?” I gave a slight nod. “That’s kind of you. Ah. She was a good girl. Things should have ended better, I’d say. I doubt she’d like to be in the presence of me, however. But she’s strong. That’s what matters? Is that how you met Levi?”

I suddenly had a shiver. Levi lied to me, then?

“You don’t really know your place, then? I guess that’s expected. Levi always did bring uncooperative little shits home.” He laughed, and crossed his legs the other side. “I’m amazed, though. Levi doesn’t take a liking to many. To me you’re too average for him. I wonder what it is about you. Is it because you’re so innocent? I wonder..”

There was crashing from outside, and a yell. Kenny had laughed, and clasped his hands together. “Well he’s faster than I expected. We barely even got to talk.” He smiled again, and shook his head. “Don’t think ill of me. I just simply wanted to meet who our Levi is neglecting us for. We’re all a family, you see. We don’t like it when people choose water over blood.”

“Family, eh?” Levi stood at the door, his one of his hands in someone’s hair, dragging them along. It was the jerk from earlier. He had a wince across his face, his hand clasped together as if he were praying. “I don’t think family takes what doesn’t belong to them.”

“I didn’t take, my nephew. I simply borrowed.” Hanji stood up too, and gave a slight laugh.

“Oh Levi!” She said, and itched her hair. “I was under order, I couldn’t say no”

“You could say no, but it’s you along with everyone else in this fucking place has no spine.” He released his hold on the man and came to my side. “Eren. Are you okay..? Did they hurt you? You can tell me, they won’t hurt you, not when I’m here..” His hand went to rest in a very gentle way on top of my head. I could tell he was out of breath. I’ve never seen him put out before. His hair was all over this place.

I shook my head. He grabbed my arm and brought me to my feet, and stood in front of me. “This is low, even for you, Kenny.”

He gave a dark laugh, now. “I just needed some reason to get you to come to the house. You haven’t come home in so long. You always sent one of the kids.”

Levi gave the same dark laugh, back. “Home? This isn’t a home, old man. This is a torture chamber. I told you last time we met that I’ll do your work as long as I don’t have to see your face, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t come and collect what’s mine.”

“Sir Levi.” One of the men who drove me earlier had said, and bowed to him. “Forgive me. I was under order. I was the one who assisted in his capture.”

I looked at Levi. He kicked him in the shin in one swift motion, his grip on my arm still there. “Eren. We’re leaving.”

“Oh Levi.” Kenny spoke, now. “The reunion is coming up. It’s time you step up to your real job. Don’t disappoint our bloodline.”

Levi’s head just looked behind. “Oh, didn’t you do that enough for the both of us?” He gave a smirk, then we left.

The drive home was quiet. He wasn’t complaining over traffic. Or his day. Or anything, It was just Levi driving back to the dorms. I noticed his hands gripping over the wheel tightly, and turning corners too fast. – then he walked me from the parking lot to where my dorm was. – It was still daylight. But it was dead because it was still spring break.

“Look. Eren. I know.. I should explain a lot to you. I know.. But.. I’m sorry I told you he was locked up but.. it’s better than answering..” He sighed, and leaned against the side of the dorms, putting his hands in his pockets. “I can’t tell you. I really can’t. For so many reasons.”

I nodded towards him. I wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t even sure everything was processed in my head.

“ _So. Back there. You said taking what’s yours. Am I yours, then?”_  

His eyes narrowed, and he let out a sigh stepping off the wall and crossing his arms. “You were kidnapped by probably the most dangerous man in the city and you were worried about our status? You should learn to access the situation more. Don’t let your guard down. And be scared in these situations.”

“ _I don’t have to be scared because it didn’t take you long to rescue me. You can just protect me.”_

Levi grabbed my collar and tugged me towards him. He could probably feel my rapid heartbeat against his chest in the embrace. “Don’t tempt me, shit head.” He muttered.

I knew I had a lot of explaining to Armin. I knew I had a lot of questions for Levi. And I probably should ask Mikasa a little bit too. But right there, as corny as that sounds, they really didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered.

Was this a fucked up situation, or what?

 

 **Day** **18:**  

Spring break came to an end, and much to my distress, I had to throw myself back into school work. – I finally got Armin to stop worrying about me the next day when I let him go with me to the clinic. Dr. Smith wasn’t in because of the holiday so I just had a regular check-up with the replacement. I ended up having to tell him that I just had a family member of the person who I was seeing. That dipped into a whole other conversation about who I was seeing, and I told him that It was top secret. He agreed not to tell Mikasa and he agreed to stop bugging me about it if I tried this semester.

But it was okay. But on Tuesday I got a text from Levi telling me to come to his apartment after classes. He made me get out my work and work on it there, but It still was nice. I was sitting on the floor on one side of the coffee table and he was on the other, sipping on his cup of tea and tapping away on his laptop.

I was reading and highlighting away at the history of some dead president I didn’t really care about, while occasically looking up at Levi.

“Pay attention to your work, shit head.” He muttered, and I gave him a frown.

“ _I’m not interested.”_  

“I don’t think anyone is interested in old white dudes in power but you have to do it.”

“ _Give me a kiss and maybe I’ll be interested.”_ I was probably testing him.

“Oi. Are you spoiled already? Tsk- Brat.” He didn’t get up. I scowled and looked back down at my book. “Hey, Eren. Where does your mother live?”

I looked up, he was looking at me, his laptop was shut half-way. “ _She lives a few hours away. In the countryside.”_

“If she lives this close, why didn’t she just come to you over Easter?”

“ _She doesn’t like to drive. She doesn’t like to get in any vehicle, actually. Everything she needs is in walking distance or it’s delivered.”_  It actually was hard to think about my mother. Now who would go on her urgent errands for her? Both Mikasa and I were gone.

“What about your father?”

Oh. My dear father. “ _He’s not around much. After the accident..”_  It seems both me and Levi both have stories and secrets we’re not ready to share.

When the mention of my father, the whole tune died. I sincerely hoped he was happy, wherever he was, whatever he was doing. ‘Working’ is what he used to say. I wonder if he had another family, and he was just mailing checks to my mother to make sure she’s okay with living.

The shitty part was I wouldn’t put it past him.

“It’s okay, brat.” Levi got up and went to put his cup back in his sink. “If anyone knows the story of shitty parental figures, then you’re looking at him. I know” He came back and his fingers ran through my hair, it was comforting. All negative feelings had simmered down. “Come on, let’s go for a walk and take a break.”

We did take a walk. But we ended up at a diner and Levi bought me chili cheese fries then made horrible faces at me while I ate them. His eyes rolled and he complained about how I was going to regret it years down the line. I just shoves a bunch in my mouth and he called me disgusting. I laughed. Then he got a phone call and said he had to take care of something for work.

I’m being honest when I say that anytime he gets the phone calls or when he says he has to handle work-related things, my stomach gets in a knot. The mixture of what I heard from his uncle, and what he said to his uncle, and how he said his uncle was probably one of the most dangerous men in this city.. It was frightening, though.

“Oi. Get out of your head.” Levi said before he dropped me off. “If you worry too much you’ll get lines on your forehead. You wont be cute then.”

 _“So I’m cute now?”_  

Then he poked me in the forehead, and pushed me towards the entranceway. “Of course you’re cute now. Fuck head.”

God, what was he doing to me?

 

 **Day 19.**  

“Eren?? Is that you??” I don’t think I’ll ever forget that voice. It was Hanji. I was currently sitting inside a small coffee shop, cleaning up my books after class. It was Friday and I was buying time because Levi had texted me earlier and said that we’ll do something tonight.

I missed our visits in the garden, honestly. Since school picked back up, we haven’t been having them much.

“Hi! Do you remember me? I work for Levi! How could you forget!!?” She sat in the other side of the booth without an invitation and had that huge smile on her face. I was scared all over again. “Do you know what I was wondering since before? I swear I’ve seen your face before. I can’t tell who you are though. Do you have notable parents?”

My shoulders shrugged. My mom’s always been a stay at home wife and my dad used to be a doctor.

“What are their names?”

“ _Carla and Grisha Jeager.”_  

Hanji’s jaw dropped and she seemed to yell the next part. I wasn’t sure if I should cower in fear or run away.

“Grisha Jeager? You mean.. the man who totally came up with a new vaccine to stop the spread of cranial cancer and is using microbiology to look in the cracks of the brain holy shit. I’ve been to almost all of his lectures. I flew to the coast just see him lecture on speech disorders!”

Wow. She must see my father more than I see my father. This couldn’t be the same man. The guy who raised me wasn’t this well liked.

“ _I think you have a different man. There’s no way that he could be this well liked.”_

This made her laugh. “Oh No. I’m sure it is the same one. There could only be one Grisha Jeager in this century. Of course I recognized you. You’re the reason he closed his clinic and is researching for a non-surgical way to re-gain voice in post trauma-accidents!”

“Hey shitty glasses the whole fucking café can hear you fangirling—Eren. – OH no. This is not why you called me out today. Im not kidding around, I’ll behead you if you try to collect him again. Watch me Zoe.”

“Chill out, munchkin. Did you know you’re dating the son of a legend?”

Legend? My smile was fading slowly.

“Eren. Is she annoying you? I can push her around a few times. I’m sure that’ll help.”

Levi sat next to me, and it made it all better. I turned my head to look at him. He had a bruised eye. This again?

“ _What happened?”_ I sat up, moving my finger to brush over it, careful not to hurt him.

“I landed on a fist. It’s okay. I took care of it. Sh. Why are you here? Did shitty glasses call you out?”

“I’m offended, Levi.” Hanji put her hand over her chest. “I’m never going to touch his boy again, Levi his father is a Legend. I will warship the ground he walks on, He’s the best doctor on the coast.”

“You said that about Erwin when you first met him.” Levi’s eyes rolled, and he looked back at me. I wanted to ask him about his injury, I was scared of the answer, though.

“ _I was studying.”_  

Levi had just stared at me for the longest time, just blinking. Did he not believe me. “Now?”

I nodded. Then he laughed. He laughed. Levi laughed.

I whined. Levi’s arm went around my shoulders and his head shook. “Oh shit, kid. This is unexpected. I mean.. You just don’t study much. I like it.” Then his shook his hands through my hair. I gave him a nasty look.

“Oh you two are adorable. Oh! Let’s go on a double date. It will be fun. We can do something fun. Anything you guys want. Eren! What do you want to do?”

Levi took his other hand and flipped her off. “Shut the fuck up, we’re not spending more than 20 minutes with you two. Mike will smell Eren and scare him off. No fucking way.” Levi looked at my face then. “It’s okay, Eren. You don’t want to go on a date with them anyway.” He said in a nod and smirked at Hanji. “Don’t you have work to do? Wait, you called me out, why are you here?”

“Oh” Hanji coughed and took an envelope out of her coat pocket and slid it across the table to Levi. He opened it and looked inside. He didn’t take anything out, though. The envelope was stuffed. I had no clue what it could be for, though. – Levi just opened his own jacket and slid it inside. Then grinned. “Okay. Tell him fine. Anything else?”

Hanji shook her head. Then looked to me. “Would it be out of the question to ask for a personal meeting with Dr. Jeager? You don’t hate me, do you? I’m just a big fan..”

“ _If you do happen to meet with him, ask him where is he, I’d like to know as well.”_  I told her. Levi scowled at Hanji.

“Well! I think I should go. I have work to be done! Farewell friends. And Eren, I’m really sorry for almost kidnapping you. Understand my position. I’ll call you Levi.”

Levi looked at me with an exhausted look on his face. “Let’s order food before I run after her and skin her.”

I laughed.  So dad does have fans, eh?

**Day 20.**  

Sunday night I was studying at Levi’s apartment. Well I was trying to study. I honestly didn’t get much work done because Levi kept cursing at his papers. Then the neighbors next door kept banging on the walls. Then his phone kept going off. And then my laptop died and I had forgotten my charger.

The point being, I didn’t get much of my work done. It’s not that I was disappointed. Because I got to stare at Levi for long moments while he complained or threw a fit of rage. We ended up abandoning both of our work and watched a moving I’m sure none of us paid attention to. – When it got around 10, Levi was in the bathroom, and I was gathering my stuff to leave, and I looked out of the window. – It was raining.

It was raining really hard. Not only was it raining quite hard but it was also very windy as well. I made a face. Levi’s car was in the shop and I didn’t really want to deal with the awkward situation in a taxi.

“You can stay here? I mean, just go right to class tomorrow.” Levi mumbled, looking out of the window next to me. I looked over at him with a look of surprise. “Oh don’t look at me like that, as if I’d send you out in that.” He spat. “go shower. I’ll get you out sleepwear and put it by the door.”

Levi’s shower was so much better than what the dorms had to offer. I mean for one there wasn’t the constant worry about weather there was cum on the walls for this one. And two you could stay in the shower for longer than 10 minutes without the bi-polar water turning to ice water. I also used Levi’s body wash and tried to not get happy when I realized that I was starting to smell like Levi.

The clothes Levi had left out for me were oversized for him. I couldn’t even imagine Levi in them. I made a face in the mirror after wiping the steam from it. – I really didn’t know why I was so nervous about this. It’s not like this was the first time I was alone with Levi.

I also didn’t know what I was going to expect when I came out, either. But I didn’t expect to have the couch in the living room have a sheet over it and blankets at the end of it.

Levi was actually going to make me sleep on the couch?

“You sleep here.” He pointed. I just gave him a long look. “Don’t look at me like that, Brat. Get in the fucking bed I made you.” He said, and scowled.

Was I disappointed that I wasn’t sleeping in the same bed as Levi?

“Eren.” Levi said once I sat on the couch. I looked over at him. He looked like he wanted to say something important. I pressed my lips together for a minute and waited. His head shook, though. “Never mind.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead, and then got up to turn off the light. “Goodnight, Mon Coeur.” There was that word again. I need to find out what that means.

After a few minutes I saw the light next to his bed turn off, and I laid my head against the pillow he got out for me. The only noise was the sound of the rain from the outside. I felt cold, even if I was under all of the blankets he got out for me. I wasn’t comfortable, even though the couch was the most comfortable thing I’ve sat on.

I’m in Levi’s house, and I wasn’t next to Levi.

Maybe he was right? Maybe I am spoiled.

I turned on the couch. And looked towards his bed. I doubt he was asleep. I wonder if he could have fallen asleep that fast. I hoped he was asleep. Maybe he wouldn’t yell at me for crawling in if he was asleep? – I wonder what would go through his mind if he woke up next to me. Would he yell?

I sat up right and looked towards his bed. He still wasn’t moving. I stood and walked the distance. He didn’t say anything when I got to the steps to his bed. I pressed my lips together and looked down at the lump in the bed that was his body.

He really did look very small from here. My stomach was spinning. I shook my head and crawled in next to him. – I tried too at least. I was caught when the floor creaked while moving up the last step.

“What are you doing?” He said through the darkness. Would he be able to see me? “Are you not comfortable?” He sat up from his position. The look in his eyes was breathtaking. It always was. He signed. “spoiled brat.” He then moved the blankets down from the bed, scooting over some.

I hoped he couldn’t see the look that came over my face, though.

I laid my head on the pillow, and he turned to look at me. Both of our eyes were open. His grey eyes seemed to be staring deeper down from my eyes. It was almost as if he was staring into my heart.

I brought my hands up. “ _Levi, why me?”_  

“hm?” He hummed, and ran his fingers up to brush them through the bangs of my hair.

 _“I mean.. When I was at your uncles, they said that you didn’t let a lot of people in. Making it seem like I was special. Why me? I’m not that special. I’m actually.. voiceless. Broke.”_  Was this where I was going? Was this what I was doing? Doubting myself? I swoar to never let Levi see that part of me. I swoar to never let anyone see that part of me.

Levi moved over and straddled my stomach. It did flips. I chewed over my lips. “Eren Jeager. You’re not broke. I want to punch every person who let that through get into your mind. You lost your ability to speak, that doesn’t mean you’re voiceless.. Eren. Why did I let you in? I told you. You invaded my mind and I don’t know how to turn back. I can’t turn back ever. Eren Jeager, You’re an annoying brat, but you annoyed me to the extent that I didn’t want to not be annoyed by that. Don’t second guess it.”

I didn’t want to cry. I probably was going to cry. No one would say these things to me. Everyone would feel bad. Everyone would pity me. I was crying. I let Levi see me cry.

Levi kissed me then. – Fuck. This was bad. I was showing Levi this side.

That scared me more than anything.

I fell asleep with my head on Levi’s arm and his other hand rubbing over my side. In the morning he didn’t mention about my self-loathing or of my selfishness. He walked me to the campus and flicked my head when I whined about being awake that early.

I was in too deep.

I didn’t see the black car waiting for in in front of the school, though. I also didn’t see the two huge men who shoved their knees into Levi’s stomach and forced him into their car.

What the fuck?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept meaning to work on this all day but I was catching up with ONS.  
> And i finished Fairy Tail. Im broken. That is all. 
> 
> This is kind of like, lets get a few back-stories before i hekka go into plot next chapter?  
> We'll be diving head first. 
> 
> See you guys soon. 
> 
> Keep the nice comments coming :)))


	6. Days 21-23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 Days covered in this one because i feel that only 3 should be put in. It would have just been filler and pointless to add an extra >@

**Days 21.**

For 5 days I didn’t hear anything.  On the first day I made Armin go with me to the police station, against my better judgment.

Something in the back of my mind told me not to involve the police in Levi’s life. Considering his uncle, how it was something that Levi couldn’t tell me, and he always came around with new bruises and cuts.

But shit. I saw him being taken right _next to me_. He was kidnapped. And the look on his face when it had happened. I’ve never seen his eyes get that wide. I’ve never seen him so helpless, so defenseless…

Of course, the police didn’t do anything. Would they do anything? Our first attempt was to go to the campus police station. And they said it’s not in their jurisdiction because the kidnapping happened across from the campus and not on the exact campus. – Even though he was an employee of the school, the second I mentioned his name, they just turned their backs.

A crime had happened to one of their own, they turned it away. They said that we should go to the city police station. Who didn’t do much anyway. When we went into the station they said I could file a report but 48 hours have to pass before they could do anything. And in 48 hours, I’d have to re-file the report anyway, then wait for an investigator to call.

He could be dead in 48 hours. He could be countries away in 48 hours. I saw him taken from my grasp in a split second. And I have to wait 48 hours.

These are real people saying this? We are supposed to rely on these people to save us in our time of need? These are the men and women who get paid to protect and save us, and they told me to come back in 48 hours.

Armin tried to calm me down, but I couldn’t. I went back to my dorm room and threw a fit. I kicked the end of my bed too hard.

I couldn’t even scream. I couldn’t even yell. In that moment, my.. my lover was taken from me and I couldn’t do a single thing to save him.

The next day, I saw Dr. Smith. In my fit, I had apparently hit my foot too hard while kicking my bed, and couldn’t calm down long enough to go to the after-hours clinic. The next day I skipped my classes and went to see him.

“ _How do you know Levi?”_  I asked him, while he was wrapping my foot.

“I met him while I was on my residency after medical school. It was a small clinic in a small town no one knew about. Levi made frequent stops to the clinic then.” He was surprisingly honest.

“ _So you don’t know much about his family?”_  Even though Erwin saw my words, he didn’t respond right away. He just looked back down and continued wrapping the bandage around the splint.

“No. He didn’t talk about them much. But I do know that they’re dangerous. That’s why I got him to go away for awhile. But, he just got sucked back into it. His uncle.. I hear he’s a dangerous man.” Dr. Smith looked up at him. “Do you know something?”

This time I didn’t reply for a bit. Was there anyone that knew about him?

_“He was taken a few days ago, and I don’t know by who, and I don’t know.. theres nothing I can do.”_  

Dr. Smith just stood and got a crutch for me. “Don’t poke around in things you can’t imagine fixing, Eren. You have enough on your plate. Taking on getting inside of Levi’s head and backstory is a burden that you shouldn’t carry.” He gave me a prescription for pain medication and told me to keep off it.

On the third day of Levi’s absence, I was regretting my fit of anger, because my foot was swollen like a balloon, I was on crutches and Mikasa never left me alone. – She’d come to my room in the morning and didn’t leave until the end. I had finally got her to give me alone time, saying that I’m perfectly fine. I was in a cast for 4 months after the accident, I could handle a sprained ankle from kicking something too hard.

I was moving along the street, making my way back to the dorm when on the other side of the street, I saw a woman laughing into her phone. She had a long, white lab coat on and her messy hair was up in a very messed up pony tail.

Hanji. Levi’s friend. The woman who helped bring me to his uncles house. The woman who had a staring problem and her smile was too big and always there. Hanji.

I moved as fast across that street as my ankle and crutches would permit me. I should have used the cross-walk, and not almost be run over by a semi but I made it across the street with only 3 honks and one rude gesture from out a car’s window.

Hanji looked back at the commotion from the street. She hung up her phone, and pulled that same excited look on her ace.

“Oh Eren! How ar—Oh my god, you hurt yourself. How did you do that? Did you see a good doctor? Is it broke? I can get you some good pain medication if you need. I have a friend.”

My head just shook, and I leaned against my crutches to support my weight and catch my breath. I tried to ignore the pain in my foot saying that going across the street like that was a bad idea.

“ _Levi. You know what happened to him, right?”_  Hanji’s smile faded, and she just crossed her arms over her chest. “ _I know you know. He was kidnapped. It was in a car like the one you guys picked me up in. You know.”_

She let out a breath. “I think there are things that only members of the family should know. But I guess since he’s decided to keep you close, it wont be so harmful to tell you that he’s okay. He’s upstate at a reunion for a family”

A reunion. A reunion caused him to be kidnapped.

“Oh I guess you’re wondering why he was taken in that way? – that’s because Levi wouldn’t have come on his own. When it comes to the family he’s very… introverted. He doesn’t like to be around the family. Kind of like hes the only one in the family who lives outside of the manor. – You don’t have to worry. Too much.”

It’s the too much that got to me.

“ _When will it be over? He can’t even have a phone?”_  

Hanji avoided that question. Her phone rang after a few moments of just staring at me.

“Hello? Oh. – Of course, I’ve been waiting.—Eren? I have to go. Just make sure to keep yourself healthy and don’t hurt yourself. Scope me out if you need those meds!” She said excitedly and went back to her phone, and turned away. “Yes I’m here. I’ll be like.. 15 minutes..” and she was gone, disappeared behind a streetlight and a crowd of people.

This was all exhausting. I didn’t know if I wanted to kick something else or cry again. – I just went back to my dorm and laid under my blankets. The whole situation was fucked.

On Friday, after my classes for the day I left the building for the weekend. Jean had noticed that I looked like shit and asked why my mother Mikasa wasn’t brushing my hair in the morning. I just flipped him off and pretended to listen to the lecture and took half-assed notes.

But then I found myself standing outside of Levi’s front door. I was making a face at it. Then I knocked on it. No one answered. Of course no one answered. I did sigh, though. – I went back down the elevator and moved to the outside of the building, looking up at the fire escape.

The voice in the back of my head said, “ _Don’t do it, Eren. Your foot is fucked up enough.”_

_“He probably wouldn’t want you in his home when he’s gone, anyway.”_

_“Just go back and wait for him to call you.”_  

I put the crutches down to the smallest level and reached for the ladder, pulling myself up to the first level of the escape with my arms. – I honestly didn’t think I had that much upper body strength. Crawling up the stairs, I had been on my foot too much. It was pounding and throbbing each time I put weight on it. I couldn’t even scream about the pain, though.

I rubbed my foot while I took a break and went back up on my journey to break into my boyfriends house.

I shoved his window up, thanking god that the lock was busted, and landed inside. I couldn’t even describe the feeling that came over me. Everything was just how we left it, of course. I could still smell everything from the last time I was in that apartment.

I limped over to the bed and ditched the crutches at the steps to the bed. If Levi were here he’d get annoyed at me leaving my crap in the middle of the floor.

I kicked my shoe off and laid down on the bed. It smelled just like Levi. It felt just like Levi. Everything was Levi. I grabbed at his pillow and pressed it close to me, and laid on his side of the bed. Im sure I must have looked pathetic. Like a girl who missed her boyfriend. Or a child missing something close to them. I just wanted Levi. – It scared me, actually. I needed him.

I wasn’t sure when it was that I fell asleep, but I did. I didn’t hear the door to the apartment open, and I didn’t hear him come inside. But I sure as hell darted my eyes open when I heard his cool, calm, collected voice say “Isn’t this fucking cute. It’s like I’m coming home to my wife in my bed.” He laughed at it.

Levi was there. Levi was standing before me. Levi was alive. Levi was back.

Levi was back.

Levi was back.

Levi was b a c k. Alive.

I couldn’t help myself, I met him midway, and threw my arms around him. He smelled like sweat and B.O. I didn’t care, though. He was there. He squeezed his arms back around my waste when my arms wrapped tight around him.

“You’re an excited little shit.” He said, and laughed. There was that breathless, half-assed laugh I grew to adore so much. “You couldn’t have missed me that much, I was only gone for 5 days.”

I pulled back now. But I made sure it wasn’t far.

“ _I thought something had happened.”_  

He laughed, and pressed his fingers over my temple. “Mon Coeur. We can’t live a life without something happening.” Then he pressed a kiss to my temple. “Don’t worry. I’m fine. You shouldn’t worry. No news is good news… How did you even get in here?” He asked, his head moving to the side.

I pointed to the other end of the apartment, and to the window.

“You crawled up the fire escape.. You could have asked the front desk you let you in. They’ve seen you come up with me enough times.” Oh. “And what the fuck happened to your foot?” His voice raised slightly now. His face got more serious as he examined my foot. “Don’t tell me you chased after Kenny’s car and fell. That sounds like you.”

My head shook. I should have done that, instead of watching him get abducted in shock.

“ _I threw a fit and kicked my foot and hit my ankle on the end of my bed and it twisted and sprained.”_ He just gave me a look. He gave me his look. The ‘Of fucking course’ look.

“Look at you. You’re a fucking mess without me.” He soothed his hands over my hair. That statement couldn’t have been any more true. It was the total truth. Nothing was more true. I did turn into a mess without him. Without knowing where he was.

“ _Where did you go? Are you okay?”_ I asked. I knew I wouldn’t get an answer.

“Ah. I’m okay. My uncle had a unique way of picking us up, you know that well.” I did. I really did. “Ah, shit. I need to shower. I fucking reek and I’m covered in god knows what.” I was scared to know what. “we’ll order Chinese when I get out.” He nodded. He was acting like he’s just been at work. Is this was it was? Was this his work? Being thrown into the back of a car out of the blue and disappearing for 5 days? – Going to this.. reunion? Was this his job? Was this who he was?

He went to get up, and I threw my arms around him. I wasn’t ready for him to go. Even if it was just to shower. Even if he’d be back in my arms in 20 minutes. I was scared to death. I didn’t want to cry. I kept my arms wrapped around him from behind and pressed my face into his neck.

“Fuck kid. Did you turn into a koala while I was away?” He asked, and shook his head. But he stayed there. He didn’t move and we didn’t talk.

He didn’t ask me more about my injury and I didn’t ask him more about his disappearance. He didn’t ask me if I’d been going to classes and I didn’t ask him about the bruises I saw over his collarbones and wrists.

I was scared over how attached I was getting.

 

**Day 22:**

Just two days later, both Levi and I were sitting in the garden. I was staring down at my new accessory to my body, a cast. It was itchy, I wanted it to be off. I kept whining.

“If you would have stayed off it, then you wouldn’t be in a cast right now.”

It was dark blue and Levi sat next to me while Dr. Smith had attached it to my foot. I had apparently made my foot worse and it turned from a sprain to a fracture. Dr. Smith did say that I could be in a walking boot but Levi insisted on the cast.

“Shut the hell up, you’ll be out of it by the time summer break comes.” His eyes rolled, and he looked back down to my foot. It really was annoying and itchy.

It reminded me of the accident, when I was stuck in a cast for many months. It smelled and my skin was a different level of pale when I got out of it.

Levi also didn’t tell me about his marks from when he was gone. I asked about them and he said ‘don’t ask shit you’re not ready to hear’ again.

“Are you going home for summer break?” Levi had asked, tilting his head off to the side. I gave him a nod, and he just looked back down to the screen.

To be honest, I was scared, relieved and disappointed all in one. I was scared because last year semester after winter break, my mother had turned the house into something else. She organizes the house as her loneliness thickens. I could only imagine how it is now, neither me, nor Mikasa had gone home for spring break. I was relieved because I wanted to go home and see my mother, and check up on her. But I was disappointed because I’d be away from Levi for 3 months.

It’s not like we could talk on the phone, and Levi doesn’t seem like the type that would just skype every night to keep me happy. I hated the summer time. The heat and long days of summer could drive someone insane.

His phone ringing pulled me out of my thoughts, thankfully.

“What. No. After last week? Fuck off. No. No. No. No. Fine. Whatever. Fuck you.” And he hung up his phone. His whole aura had changed as he shoved his laptop back in his bag. “I have to go.”

I didn’t realize I was whining. He read it all over my face.

“Don’t give me that look. I just have to pick up something.” I looked down at my hands, though. His eyes rolled. “Fine, get your ass up. You can come, I guess.” He had an eye roll. But I couldn’t help but to smile, and wobble behind him to where his car was parked.

This time we didn’t drive that long. I don’t even think we left the city. The whole drive was Levi driving too fast and him flipping the radio station every song because he hated got annoyed at every ‘computerized’ pop song that came on the radio, now.

We parked in front of a large medical building that looked to have several different offices there. What could he be going there for? Work?

“Well, are you going to stay in the car and over heat?” I was surprised when he was waiting for me. My eyes widened a bit, but I got my crutches from the back of the car and hobbled along him.

He pressed floor 15 in the elevator. On the directory there was only office on the top floor.

**Hanji Zoe MD. LAB.**  

I had to read over it a few times before I understood. Wait. What?

“ _Hanji is a doctor??”_ I asked, shooting Levi a look.

“Does it surprise you that much? – I wouldn’t call her a doctor. She’s more like a lab tech. She isn’t trusted with lives of patients.” Levi nodded, and we made it to the floor.

No one was in the office when we arrived, and Levi just walked right back to the back of the rooms. There were a few workers there, and they were with patients. We found Hanji sitting in at a desk, her eyes pressed in microscopes, and her hands moving on them.

“Isn’t your eyesight to bad for that, shitty glasses.” Levi said, as his arms crossed, and he kicked a chair from it’s spot at the counter. “Sit.” He nodded towards me. I did as I was told.

“EREN” Hanji jumped, and her smile went huge, again. “I swear, you seem more injured every time I run into you. Did Erwin put you in a cast now? You know, it can’t be THAT bad. Then again, I guess he doesn’t want Grisha Jeager’s son to be injured for too long under his care..” She said, and clasped her hands together.

I tried not to wince at the sound of her praising my father.

“ _You know him, too?”_  

“Oh yes! I interned for him for a year when I finished up school.”

“Shut it, four eyes. Where is it?” Levi’s hands were in his pockets, and he was rubbing his shoe against the ground. Hanji got up quickly, and retrieved an envelope from the other side of the desk. “The report was as expected. COD was suicide. What you predicted.”

“Tch. Sounds like him. Taking the easy way out before he has to suffer reality. If he only followed the rules.” Levi spat and folded the envelope up, sliding it in his jacket pocket. “Oh yeah. You can tell Kenny that I refuse. This is as far as I’ll go.”

“He won’t listen.” Hanji sounded desperate. “You do know that you can change it all. Right?”

Levi just shrugged, “Let’s go shit-head. Let’s see that dumb sinister movie. It has to be better than reality, eh?”

On the drive to the cinema, I kept looking over at Levi. I was worried for him.

“ _Is anything you’re doing illegal?”_ I couldn’t help but to ask.

“Is that a real question? Have you literally not guessed, yet?”

I looked down at my lap.

“Don’t worry, It’ll be over soon.” He said to me. I tried not to hear the “hopefully” At the end of it.

 

**Day 23** :   

On Thursday, I had another appointment with Dr. Smith. – But as I was rounding the corner to go to his office, he was stepping out of the office with Levi. Dr. Smith was clapping Levi on the back, and Levi just shrugged.

“Did you think any more about the position I told you about?” Dr. Smith had asked. Position?

“I’m still thinking. But running can’t be a good option. I did that before, remember? I was just dragged back into that life.” Levi wasn’t looking him in the eye. “Besides. I have a reason to stick around here now. Last time I ran off because I had nothing.”

“I never thought I’d see the day where Levi Ackerman didn’t only think about himself.” He laughed. What were they talking about?

“Maybe it’ll be good, though? What’s happening around here is unhealthy. Everything I am is just a curse.” Levi’s voice was cold.

“It’s only for a few months. You’ll be back when the new semester starts. I’m just saying, maybe it’ll be good to be away when the initiation starts.” Levi had his eyes closed.

He just shrugged again. “I’ll be in touch. See you.” He waved from over his shoulders, and walked the other way.

What was that about?

I waited for 5 minutes before walking into the office. Was Levi going to go somewhere? Was he going to vanish?

“Eren.” Dr. Smith said, as soon as I sat down in his office. He had my foot up on a chair, and was moving my toes from in the cast. “the toes look normal. You’re healing quite good, honestly.” He said, with a nod. “How do you feel.”

“ _Good”_  

“That’s good” He said, with a nod. I breathed out slowly. “Eren, I want to talk about something that might be a little touchy, okay?”

That made my stomach move. There were a few things that could do that.

“I want to talk about your dad, is that okay?”

To be honest, I thought he was going to talk about Levi. I thought he was going to tell me that I should start to stay away from him. But he was right about the subject he had chosen. It was something I was touchy with.

I nodded.

“Eren. Do you remember when the last time you talked to him was?” 

My head shook. That was the shitty thing. Especially in the situation I was in. You’d think if a son had a near-death experience, the father would constantly try to keep in touch. Not a call to Mikasa. Not a call to my mother. Not a text. Not a damn thing.

I was looking down at my shoes. But when Dr. Smith had said what he said next, my neck snapped up faster than anything. I’m sure I got whiplash from how fast it had moved up.

“He contacted me last night. He’s overseas right now, doing research, and he told me to speak with you about a matter. He thought maybe since there a better bond or trust with me that you’d listen.”

I just looked at him. He went on.

“He found a doctor. A doctor who is willing to travel over and look at you and weigh your options. Give you a consultation, You can say.”

Consultation? What the hell could that be for?

“Eren, there is an operation, The chances are low. There are risk factors and it’s less than a 50/50 chance that it’ll happen. More along that there is like a.. 5 % chance that it will be successful.”

“ _Tell me what it is and stop building it up”_  

“There is a part of your brain that works with speech. In your accident, that part got injured. – Now this doctor believes he can go inside the brain and there is a chance he can give you that ability back. – Now It will be hard. And of course you wont be able to get that back right off the bat, but.. It’s a chance. A slim.. slim chance. But It can work. If you let it. Your father said he can get him out here by the summer to meet with you.”

I had always dreamed of me talking again. I’d be able to talk again. And I’d be able to sing. And laugh and express myself.

“ _Tell him no.”_ Was what I told Dr. Smith. And got to my feet.

“What? Eren.. There is a chance, did you hear that?”

My head nodded.

“ _It’s a small chance. I’m sorry, but I’ve just gotten used to living this way. If that doctor comes, and I get my hopes up. I get my sisters hopes up. I get my mothers hopes up. I get my friends hopes up. I get my lover’s hopes up.. And when it doesn’t happen? I have to suffer through that again. And learn to accept it again.”_  I stood up. And gave him a smile. “ _I don’t want to go on anymore pretending that there’s a chance I’ll be normal when I wont. Just tell him no. Tell him to stop looking.”_  

Erwin listened to me. And accepted my speech.

That night I went to Levi’s and he asked if anything happened today. I just shook my head, and went back to studying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to get this up today so i wrote, wrote and more wrote.   
> Everyone, i changed my tumblr URL. its now: watashiwa-homo. 
> 
> Oh and happy fanfiction writers appresation day! I don't want to call out my favourite authors, because everyone who writes is my favourite! So if you have a fanfiction, thank you. thank you for making me loose sleep and thank you for the un-needed head cannons that i now need to be cannon! no but really, Fanfiction is what helps me out big time. Thank you to the writers and the readers. I get so happy when i get a new comment or kudos or sucribers. You can ask tumblruser : Pastelprincesscrys , who i live with, that i'm OBSSESSED with checking my stats. After i upload a new chapter, i'm ALWAYS checking them. I hope you guys love this journey as much as I do 
> 
> just everyone. I love you. Okay, goodbye friends. See you next week.


	7. AUTHOR-SAN HAS A UPDATE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> :( 
> 
> i hate technology.

I have awful news for my loyal fans. 

I want you all to know that i am NOT dropping this story. - I have SO MUCH planned for the story  and I want to finish it. I really do, but i have bad news. 

My laptop is slowly eroding away into the darkness. - I can't be anymore serious when I say this. Literally.. So, my laptop was cracked  in the screen when i got it. So i fixxed it and made it mine. Buuuuut when my friend fixed it, the frame had eroded away and cracked and became a black hole. 

i kid you not, the laptop is covered in duct tape. (and the top of it has Eren drawn on it that says save me)  And the screen was not able to stand up it's own, like it'd fall and all that miserable jazz. It makes me want to cry because it's lasted and been through so much!  

What does this mean for my fic? - I am still going to try my HARDEST to update. It's just getting to the good part and i have everything in my head!! So here is what  i'm doing. - On days i'm home and my roommate is working, i can connect my laptop to the TV and use the TV as a monitor for my dear old laptop. That's an option. I can also use my roommmies laptop. I did that before i fixed this up the last time when i had my old fic going. 

But sadly, I won't be getting updates to you guys as often. I know I update every friday, But i'm not sure i'mm going to be able to get it done every friiday and feel good enough with the writing to upload it. (I can't even tell you how much i re-write everything in the editing process.) 

I understand if people don't want to keep up with this ficlit. I know how frustrating it is when you really like a fic but you don't get updates often. (and i know if yall are fans of moments that i've been neglecting you, but i have no inspiration for this, and this whole issue is just dragging that on..) 

If you don't want to keep up with the updates, but you do want to know what's going on in the fix and how i plan to end it, you can all message me on tumblr. 

I don't know if i let you guys know but my new URL is watashiwa-homo.tumblr.com 

but just shoot me a message and i'll tell you what i had planned. 

But i do hope you guys do keep following it! I am so happy with the attention it's been getting and i don't want you guys to bee too dissapointed. Im always so sad for my laptop babe. it's very dissapointing, i cant even work on my novel right now because i don't feel comfortable writing it in any other envoronment. 

Well, That's all I have to say. I hope you guys can forgive me. 

I love each and every one of you. 

 

and i will be getting a new laptop, but thats at the end of october :| 

 


	8. days 24-26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> plotplotplotplotplotplotplotplotplot

**Days 24:**

“ _Why are we at Hobby Lobby, though?”_ I asked Levi as he was parking his car in the parking lot to the Hobby Lobby. This was a store I’ve never been to before. This was a store that I never expected to be and it was also a store that I never expected Levi to even step foot inside. – Honestly I didn’t even know that Levi knew the store.

That morning, I woke up to find a message on my phone. It was Saturday, and didn’t wake up close to 10 so I was pretty sure that Levi was more than annoyed when I didn’t reply to him and he sent me the text closer to 7.

**Levi: I’ll pick you around 10 in the lot by the dorms.**  

He didn’t tell me where we were going. Why he didn’t tell me the night before to not sleep in, nor did he bother to try to wake me up any other way.

“Because some shit heads in my class has a graduation coming up and they mentioned it would be cool to have a scrapbook for the class.” Levi was grumbling. I hated to admit that someone’s I forgot that he was also a teacher and not a drug dealer. (Okay, well It wasn’t confirmed that he was a drug dealer but it was the only thing I can come up with.

“ _So you do care about your students.”_  I was teasing. He shot his famous death glare as we stepped foot inside the craft store and he grabbed a hand basket.

“Not students, Eren. Brats. Shit heads. Pain in my ass. Not students”

Levi didn’t say anything about not caring about them.  

I had never seen anyone look so bored while shopping before. He already had his narrow eyes that had looked like he was going to murder someone. But even at this intent of boredom was at a whole other level, even for Levi. – He walked up and down the isle of the hobby lobby throwing cards in the basket, ribbons in the basket, multi-colored markers in the basket and I’m positive I even saw Levi throw glitter inside the basket.

_“What are you even planning on doing with all of this? Are you making them cards?”_  I had asked Levi, as he stood in the line to pay.

All I got from Levi was a shrug. Just a simple shrug. I couldn’t help but to smile at that, because this really was so Levi. Levi always just did things and acted like he didn’t care at all. But he did care, he cared more than anyone else, despite how he acted.

“Boss?” A deep voice had said, causing both Levi and I to look up. Coming into the store was a tall man. He had on a leather jacket and blue jeans, a baseball hat covering his face. “That is you! Wow, I never thought I’d see you in a place like this – Or even in this city still. Shouldn’t you dip for a bit?”

“Erd. You’re not in the family anymore, I’m not your boss.” Levi shook his head, and set the basket on top of the counter, nodding his head to the check-out employee. “and I won’t run away just because of the situation. I made sure to everyone that I’m not involved in that position.” It was conversations Levi had like like this that made my stomach turn. I knew it couldn’t be legal, or safe.

“It’s good that you could get out. Considering. I’ll be at Kennys funeral, though. I wont betray the family” He smiled at me, then to Levi, and bowed his head. “I’ll see you.”

“$30.45, Sir.” The employee had a grin on her face. Levi’s overall tune had changed.

Kenny’s funeral.  Kenny was the man that I had met that time. Kenny was Levi’s uncle. Was he dead?

“ _Levi what happened?”_  I was positive that Levi did see me, 100 %. Instead of answering me, though, he swiped his card.

“Thank you sirs” She had said, and finished bagging his things, which he grabbed, and started walking out of the store. My chest was pounding.

We both walked to his car in silence and he slid in the drivers seat, throwing the things in the backseat, looking over at me, finally.

“I didn’t want to tell you because once I tell you, that means you’re involved and I don’t want to corrupt you. I have enough guilt, I don’t need that too.” It was rare Levi was like this.  Levi wasn’t good at talking about his feelings. Levi wasn’t good at having deep conversations. Levi was good at making fun of people. Levi was good at telling incredibly offensive comments to peoples faces. Levi was good at being utterly sarcastic in the worst case of times.

But this time, Levi was in one of those moments. I wasn’t sure if he was going to cry. He looked as if he could cry, in that moment. I wondered what was going through his mind. It was in that moment where I did realize that Levi and I really did live in two different worlds, and that we were completely and utterly different. He held everything inside. He held on so tight to so many burdens that it was unrepairable.

“ _You can tell me. I don’t think you’ll corrupt me, or whatever. Who am I going to talk to after all?”_ That was taken in so many different ways than the one.

He actually was quiet for a long time. He didn’t look at me, he just sat in the drivers seat and stared at the steering wheel. He was gripping the wheel tight and finally looked over at me. The silence in the car could make me deaf, as well.

“Kenny.. he was killed last night.”  Levi told me, and then put the car in reverse and sped out of the parking lot for the hobby lobby. “Theres… theres another family who has it out for our family. And they found out he wasn’t in prison anymore. They found out that he was in fact back in this city, and they can’t have Kenny in ru-Both of our families can’t be in this city so they had to take care of the head of the family.”

Everything he was saying was giving me the shivers. It was all so serious and something you never heard about in real life. – Levi was definitely in a whole other world than this one.

_“I’m sorry.”_

His head shook at that one. “Don’t. It’s.. He was a shitty person. He was a really shitty person, and he didn’t care about literally anyone. I’m quite positive. I’m not saying.. It’s.. I don’t think really anyone will really get the relationship- Or lack of relationship I had with that man.” Levi’s head shook, as he sighed, and merged over into the turning lane, right to the freeway.

“ _He was still family, right?”_  

“Ha. Family.” He replied right away. – He did open his mouth like he was going to say something, but he was cut off.

“ACKERMAN” was yelled from outside the car. In that moment, Levi’s face went a color of white I’ve never even seen on paper. And his eyes went to a shape I thought would never be seen inside of that man.

“Shit. Fucking of course.” He muttered, and looked around, then swerved into the next lane and ran right through the red light and straight down the street. “Hold on.”

The way Levi was driving, it was a whole other level of driving. I wondered if this is what it was like to be the passenger inside a street race.  Was the car even on the pavement anymore? – I doubted it. We had to have been flying.

There were 2 cars flying down behind us. Moving just as fast as Levi was moving. – I looked out of all the windows. – That  moment was the first time in years that I had found myself back into another world, another time. – this wasn’t happening. Not now. Not with him. Not now. Not. Now.

I was seeing the other drivers dead face laying on the floor outside of the car. I was seeing my own fathers huge eyes. I was seeing my own blood and head through the windshield of the car.

“ _please stop.”_ I couldn’t even tell Levi. I couldn’t yell at Levi. I couldn’t scream. I couldn’t sign. I couldn’t do anything. No. Don’t freak out. Don’t. Stop.

I brought my head down to my knees and hid my face. I couldn’t have the memory if I couldn’t see the outside. I wasn’t there, I was in another place. I was back in Levi’s apartment and we were curled on his couch watching Netflix. We weren’t being chased. Today didn’t happen.

I was crying. I’m sure I was crying.

But then everything stopped. We weren’t moving anymore. We were in a stand-still and it was then that I brought my head up. We were in the lot next to my dorm room. – Fuck. I was still shaking, though.

“Shh. Eren calm down. It’s okay. You’re safe. Sh. Sh. Sh.” Levi’s arms were around my body and my breathing was slowly calming down. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault. Im so sorry. Eren..” Levi’s voice sounded desperate. Levi’s voice sounded.. not Levi. It was a different voice. Something I’ve never heard before.

“ _I’m okay.”_ I had brought myself up enough to sign to him. He wasn’t believing me. He had the look of pure frightens in his eyes, too. – It’s been awhile since I had an episode like that. “ _Who was that?”_

“I swore to myself that I wouldn’t get you involved. This isn’t like it used to be. Now you’re fucking involved. It won’t be long before they figure out who you are. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He was now against his own steering wheel, and he was breathing deeply. “Okay Eren. Go up to your dorm and lock the door and.. please just don’t come out tonight? Try to.. I’ll text you in the morning. Just don’t come out tonight. Please?”

He was staring at me. He was hating himself, he was scared. Levi Ackerman was scared. But so was I. I was so fucking scared.

I nodded In agreement. We kissed and he told me to hurry inside. I’m sure he didn’t mean to run but that’s what I ended up doing, I ran up to my dorm. It hurt my foot even more to run. I passed Jean and his friends trying to talk to me, and I didn’t even take the time to flip him off. I ran right for my room, and threw myself into my bed, my shoes and all.

 

**Day 25:**

Saturday morning I got a text telling me to stay inside that day. But to have Mikasa come over and study, or do whatever we did. – And she did come over that day. Both Mikasa and Armin came over and we all studied. (Well they studied, I ended up dozing off, or went to check my phone a million times, or complained about how boring it was.

In reality, both of them could tell that I was feeling uneasy. I was fidgety. I kept moving from my bed to the desk, to looking out the window, then to the floor, with them. I was never more on edge in my life. I wasn’t even this agitated when my mother was deciding if it was okay for me to go away to college.

And I was never this attached to my phone. The second I heard it buzz, I was on it. But felt like throwing it because it just ended up being candy crush game requests or a text message from Dr. Smith telling me that he would hold off on letting my father know, and would let me think about the operation a bit.

Then there was the subject of the operation that was on my mind. I didn’t tell Mikasa and Armin about that either. An operation that wouldn’t work, to make everyone’s hopes up that I’d be normal. I wouldn’t be normal. There was no way in hell that I would be normal again. There cant possibly be a chance that I would get my voice back. I don’t have a voice. It was all just false hope.

I heard nothing more from Levi that day. No texts, no rants, nothing. Until 2 AM when I was being shook awake by said party.

I opened my eyes at 2 AM to Levi’s face. His cheek was purple (is that a surprise) his hair was unkept and he was breathing heavily.

“If I ask you to come with me at this hour what are the chances that you would not ask any questions?” Was what he said. He was out of breath, and the hand that had brushed across my cheek was soft, and shaky.

“ _What? How did you get in here?”_  I turned my table light on after asking, and I saw his face relax. He laughed a tiny bit. A Levi laugh.

“Everything that is happening and you wonder how I got inside..” He shook his head, and then moved around my dorm, then went right for my closet. Eyeing for my bag. A sound of satisfaction came out when he found mine. “I picked the lock- Fuck this reeks. Just use your backpack.. we can buy things, I guess.” He mumbled, and emptied out my backpack, rushing all around the room. “You know, they should put better locks on the door, it wasn’t really hard. – fuck, Jeager. Do you own anything that doesn’t smell?” Levi was throwing clothes around in my closet.

I didn’t have a single clue what was going on. I grabbed his hand, and made him look at me. “ _What is happening?”_

“I told you not to ask. – I.. I got myself into a situation.. I-I don’t know what to do, for literally the first time in a very long time, so I’m going to do the one thing I know how to do the best. And that’s run.” And he got his hand free. Then brought a smile to his face and kissed my cheek, then continued packing for me.

I was still half asleep, completely confused, and somehow managed to get my shoes and my jacket on. In 15 minutes we were on the deserted freeway and I was back to studying Levi’s focused face on the road.

“I realized something.” Levi asked before I could. He had to have been going over the speed limit. He had to have been going way over the limit. But it wasn’t nearly as fast as the other day. I wasn’t having an attack like the other day. “I used to get myself in situations like that a lot. – Kenny would, get me in situations like that a lot. – But.. I did it. I always did it for him because.. This is the only thing I ever knew. This life is the only life I know. And because I really couldn’t care if I lived or died, I didn’t have any extraordinary attachment to this world.. I just went along with everything and lived that life I knew.” He stopped talking, and slowed down the car some, and looked over at me. “Now I have something to go on for. Now I have an attachment to this life. And I want to get myself out of this situation because I really, really, really fucking adore you, do you know that?”

Levi was looking back at the road again. I knew he couldn’t look at me because I knew that Levi couldn’t hold up his façade and speak like this at once. He couldn’t be the calm and collected Levi and do this. – And I didn’t say anything to him. I just went gave him my warm smile and hoped he accepted it.

I ended up falling asleep and when I woke up we were still driving. It was light out and Levi was still driving straight like how we were when I fell asleep. But we were away from the city. Now we were driving through the mountains, everything was covered with large bodies of rock and then random flat planes of nothing.

“ _Where are we going?”_ Levi was looking at me in the mirror. He blew out air before answering.

“I’m still unsure. Probably somewhere for a few days to hide out, low key. I did find out that they don’t want anything with you, so I didn’t manage to drag you that far into my mess.” He was talking, but I wondered if he was saying it to re-assure himself, instead.

“ _Are you going to tell me what you do, finally?”_  Levi gave his faint laugh this time, too.

“I guess since you are somewhat involved, and since it’s going to all end soon, that you should know, eh? – I guess since we’re this far, you won’t rat out to the feds. – Unless you’re an undercover cop now. Are you going to arrest me, Jeager?” I didn’t even reply to that one. I let him have his own joke. But then he looked at me, then around at the other cars, but back to the road in the end. “My family came from.. a branch of a… gang. Back home in France.. a very powerful gang, I guess. We have people in France, Germany, Russia, And out here.. Though.. Back home it’s not as violent but.. They’re pretty rough.. But.. My father was in line to inherit the family head title, and he was going to pass it to my uncle Kenny because he wanted to leave, but as in every other gang, you can’t just walk away. So.. He and my mother both got killed trying to leave the gang. – Kenny let the gang power get the best of him and turned into the killer and that ended up killing him. So.. next in line for this is..” He stopped talking and swallowed at that one. It was him.

I suddenly thought back to the time he joked about being in the mafia. – Fuck. I was dating a member of a mafia.

“I don’t have any plans to take over that position.. but.. that means that another family is in the race for the title. It means that the only way to inherit this is to have every successor of the title of head to vanish.” He swallowed.

That was a heavy burden to carry.

We drove into mid-afternoon and Levi stopped at an INN. He told me that if he didn’t close his eyes soon that I’d probably look another one of my senses. I actually laughed at that joke and offered to drive, which yet again, he refused.

We got a suite. And the second he hit that bed he collapsed. When he slept, he looked peaceful, as if everything wasn’t happening. He looked nice. He looked like he wasn’t in the worst position ever and that he had no struggles. – I curled up next to him and fell asleep. It was peaceful. I wondered if this was the calm before the storm.

 

**Day 26:**

The next morning there was a loud banging on the door, and It made Levi shoot up. It wasn’t housekeeping, because we put the do not disturb sign up. Levi’s face looked to pure worry and he opened his own bag that he brought up, and wrapped his fingers around a baseball bat. It was small, tiny. But still could do some damage.

It surprised me he had a weapon.

_Hes in the mafia, of course he has a weapon._  

I wonder if he left a gun in the car..

I shook my head, as he looked at me, and drew the lock back, and opened the door very slowly, and just barely. The bat behind him as if he were going to hit it fast.

“Fuck, Erwin.” It was just Dr. Smith. He came in with the same warm look on his face. “How the fuck.. how are you here right now?”

“I overheard Mikasa Ackerman saying she saw her brother sneak out, frantically to a member of staff and I told them to let me take care of it. – I’m sorry, Eren. I had a GPS put in your phone. It was a request of your father when he came to me before we started meeting.”

My dad was having my doctor keep tabs on me..

“Erwin, that’s stalking.” Levi let him in, and threw the lock shut.

“And this is kidnapping.” Erwin said, and went to the bed. “Eren, how is your foot? Did you bring your medication with you?” I saw the look of death that came from Levi’s direction when Erwin had asked that question.

“His health is fine, Erwin.” Levi dropped the bat by the door and moved to sit next to me. “And it’s not kidnapping. We’re just on a trip. Right, Eren?”

“That’s why you opened the door with a bat, Levi?” Erwin gave his own look of displeasure. “I know the situation, and honestly Levi, you should know better than to involve someone else. Especially in his condition. – Levi, Just because they saw you together with him once, does not mean that you have to run off with him, too. They don’t want his blood, they only want yours.”

“ _You know?”_  

Erwin smiled to me, now. “I’m sorry I lied, Eren. It was really the best thing in the end. “He said, then felt my foot, pressing his fingers into the injured area. “Levi, what is your plan?”

Levi had only stared at him. He was staring and crossing his arms. Then he let out a sigh, and turned his back.

“I don’t know. For the first time, I don’t fucking know what to do. Does it satisfy you?”

Now I really wanted to know what their relationship was. Who was Dr. Smith?

“We’re going to take Eren back to the school. He’s going to go tell his sister that he wanted to go for a drive. You’re going to go finish up the class with your English class. You’re going to then finish up and destroy the unit of the family, then you’re going to get on a plane I have a seat for you, and you’re going to go to Neice for a few months and let it die down.”

Woah. What? Erwin was sending him away? – What was happening? My face went into a state of panic. Levi could tell, because his hand went right over my head, in a calming motion. – Erwin noticed, too.

“And Eren. You’re going to go home and think hard. Think harder than you have ever thought of about he doctor you told me about. Then you’re going to make a decision, based on what you want, not what everyone else. Don’t think about anyone else. Not anyone but you. Get it?”

I took a deep breath. Was I shaking again?

“What doctor? Erwin?”

Erwins head just shook to Levi. “I’ll be outside. I already checked you guys out, So I’d hurry.”

Again. Who was this man?

“Eren. Don’t look like that. It’s heartbreaking.”

_“You’re going?”_ He had his arms around me then. Did I have tears already? Since when did I turn into that person?

“I don’t want too.. I want to take you and hide, and do what I planned on doing but.. I don’t think we can.. Look at how fast he found us.. And soon you’ll go to summer, too. And we’ll both have our own summer vacation.”

But you’ll be running away from being killed, and I’ll be hating myself with my mother.

“Eren Jeager.” He said, and took my face. “I want to turn myself around, so you can be a person you can be proud of. Can that happen? Besides.. It’s not like there isn’t a wifi connection. Cell phones..”

“ _I can’t talk.”_  

“But you can.” He then gave me a kiss. I leaned myself against him, and he held me. This wasn’t us. What was this? – I squeezed him back. “Don’t you hate it when people other than us are right?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys are too nice to me. I don't deserve you. I love you guys. Have an update.  
> smut in next chapter. aya (maybe)   
> Only a few more chapters, though!  
> But lookout for my new fic i'm planning. It's hosptial setting because hot doctors ereri thrills me (and i can show off my medical training and shit.)  
> see you next swim time.


	9. day 27-30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final Days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know i said 2 chapters, but i didnt feel it needed the extra one.   
> Im sorry if it seems rushed.

**Day 27:**

I was pretty sure I could shoot bullets into Levi’s back as he was packing his suitcase. I’m also pretty sure that he had been glaring right back at me since I had gotten to his apartment. I was sitting on his bed, with my feet under me. I had purposely left my jacket over the back of his couch, I had left one shoe by the door, and the next by the closet and I had made sure that this morning when I was getting dressed I wasn’t matching.

So maybe I was being a little bit of a brat. Little was an understatement, actually. I was being a big brat. – and I knew I shouldn’t be like this. Levi could get hurt if he stayed here. Levi could be in big trouble if he stayed here. It’s not like he wanted to go, and it’s only for the summer, or until things die down with his family.

I think I was more whiney about the fact that I couldn’t do anything about it. I was whiney because I’m supposed to be his lover and I can’t even protect him. I never even knew how dangerous he was. – I actually realized then that we haven’t even been together that long. I didn’t know anything about him. I wished I could scream.

I did tell him that he could just come with me home for the summer. It’s away from the city and no one would step foot inside that town without actually having too. But he told me that they would track him down, and he didn’t think that his parents would enjoy having to hide away his older boyfriend. And he didn’t want to deal with Mikasa’s glaring at them every two minutes. – But he couldn’t just leave the state. He had to leave the country. He had to go to France.

“you’re acting like I’m going away forever.” He said, as he threw a pillow at me, and tugged some more things from his dresser. “We would have been apart this summer anyway, you’re finishing up school, and going back home.”

Not the same, though. At least I’ll be in the same time zone. God, I was annoying even myself.

I just hugged the pillow to my chest and saw his eyes roll. He moved to the other side of the bed, and saw him tug out a box from under the bed. – It was a small box that had a faded design on it. It was locked though, and Levi pulled a key from his pocket to unlock it.

I really wasn’t sure what I was expecting inside the box. And considering that I now knew everything about who he was and who his family was, I probably shouldn’t have been surprised that there was a gun inside the box. There were actually two guns, and a box of bullets, along with a pocket knife and .. Jesus Christ, Levi had a machete.

_“How are you going to bring a gun to the airport.”_  

He slid the weapon in the bottom of his duffel and closed it up. “Erwin has a jet. I’ll be taking that.”

Was he that rich? – Was I missing something?

“Okay, Eren, Listen to me.” Levi then kneeled in front of my position on the bed. “I.. I should have told you about my family a long time ago. Because we probably wouldn’t be in this position if I would have told you, but, I guess I was being selfish because for once in my life I actually wanted something to myself..” He had moved his hand up, and rubbed his fingers over my cheeks. “I’m going to come soon and Everything is going to be okay, But.. I need to know where you’re going to be because I’m going to be so far away, So I can’t watch over you and make sure anything bad happens to you so.. You have to swear that you’ll stay in your hometown until the new semester starts, okay?”

What did he think was going to happen? I thought that. Then it clicked on me. He was scared those guys were going to find me to get to him. All the other times were a lie. This was the most time I’ve seen Levi look this worried. – It really did look like everything he was working for and tried so hard to protect and build up was coming crashing down.

“ _I promise.”_  I took his hands in mine and though he had his calm composure, his eyes were a whole other level, and his palms were sweaty, despite how cold the AC was blasted in his apartment.

“There was another thing I wanted to talk about.” He moved to sit on the bed next to me, but he didn’t let go of my hand. If anything he moved the grasp in our hands so he could have a firm grasp of it. “When Erwin came, he said for you to think about something.. Did you?”

I wondered there if Levi knew. I wondered if Dr. Smith had told him all along. I wondered if Levi would want me to think more about it. If he was agreeing with Dr. Smith. 

“Think about it some more.” Was what he said. I gave him a strange look, and he shook his head. “I don’t know what it was.. But Erwin seemed pretty persistent because he even told me to tell you to think more about the offer. I think I can kind of guess when it comes to it..” He stopped talking for a second, and looked down at our laps. “I know it’s hard, but realize that the way you are right now is okay, But also know the it’s okay in life to take risks, and it’s also okay in life to take a chance. If we don’t take a chance then we don’t see results.”

Then he put his bag near the door and we ordered Chinese food and he told me to put anything on Netflix. I ended up putting on some dumb sitcom about a guy who found out he’s a father and his dumb friends trying to deal with it. But I can’t say I paid much attention to the show, since I felt like my heart was actually breaking.

 

 

Day 28:

Levi and I fell asleep on the couch and woke up with a knock on the door to Erwin asking if Levi was ready. Erwin said I could go with them to the airport and we both sat in the backseat of his Mercedes and drove silently the way. Levi kept looking outside of the window with his same, unchanging bored expression. But his fingers were trapped in mine.

“I’m going to discuss things with the Pilot. I’ll let you guys talk.” He clapped my back and went for the plane and then Levi turned to me. – It was dawn and it was cold and Levi hated the cold.

“Don’t do anything dumb while I’m away.” He said, crossing his arms across his chest, as we looked at the big plane.

_“What am I going to do?”_

“Hurt your foot again then try to break into my apartment with it.” I gave a short laugh and looked down at my foot. It was still sore and I still walked with a limp, but I gave up on the crutch long ago. I just gave him a shrug. I didn’t notice Levi reach inside his jacket and hold a key out towards me. I looked up when he dangled the key in front of my face. “In case you feel the need to go to my place before you go back home, or if you come back for the next semester before me.” He just shrugged, and dropped the key in my hands

“ _is that you saying you might come back after me?”_  

Levi’s jaw clenched. Why was I being a brat? Why now? “that’s not what I’m saying, brat.” He pushed on the side of my head playfully, and put his hands back in his pockets. “Just in case. Anything can happen. I could come late, I could come early.” He then blew out air then turned to face me. “I’m not saying bye because I’m going to be in your phone constantly and it’s not like we’re saying a real bye so, I’m saying see you later.”

The kiss he gave me was small. It was a peck. It was a small, I’ll see you soon, peck. And that’s what it was. It was, I’ll see you soon. – Then he walked towards the plane just as Erwin was coming out of it. He gave him a handshake and Erwin clapped his back. Then he stepped inside the steps and Erwin closed the door.

He was going far away. He was going far away to save us. It was for a short while but it sucked. It sucked and I wanted to lay in my bed for the whole summer. – My hand was stuck inside my pocket, pressing my palm right to the key that he gave me. I was going to put that on a necklace and tie it around my neck. That wasn’t just the key to the place that Levi lived. It was the key to Levi. It was the key right to him.

“Come, Eren. I’ll take you back.” I looked up to Dr. Smith. He looked like he hadn’t slept. He looked like complete miserable, as well. But he still had that smile plastered on his face. I nodded and followed after him.

The car ride was short and quiet. He didn’t have music in his car, and he drove way slower than Levi did. But it wasn’t overly bad. – He dropped me off in front of the dorms and gave me a warm smile, too.

“ _Do you think you can forward me any information you have on the procedure?”_  His face went wide, too. He clearly wasn’t expecting that. But he pulled a calm smile on his face. Not the same kind of smile that he always woar. This was a genuine smile. And he nodded. “ _It’s not a yes.. It’s a.. maybe.”_

“Yes, Eren. I will.”

With that I left his car and looked up to the sky. I wondered where Levi was flying over right now. My head shook, and I stuck my hands in my pockets again and walked up the walk to the dorms. I had a lot of studying to do, since I’d been slacking.

But I was stopped at the door. A older man was standing there. He was speaking to Mikasa, who looked happy. He had facial hair and his eyes looked the same, dead, tired look that I’ve always known him to have. – This was my father.

“Eren.” He said when I came to him. His jaw just clenched. “What do you say we all have some lunch?” Mikasa gave a long look, and nodded her head at me. And I nodded back at her.

“ _Okay, Dad.”_  

We went to the diner and Dad told us that he was doing a seminar in town this weekend and decided to surprise us. He said he’s been looking for research and writing articles for muteness and looking for a recovery.

I was trying not to show my irritation. He had abandoned us and his wife for months on end to look for a cure. To look for a solution for me. It was for **me**. And I said no to a procedure he found. I never wanted to scream so bad in my life.

I wanted Levi.

“Eren,” Dad said, as soon as the waitress took his card for the check. “Dr. Smith told you about the operation, right? I heard from him. Why did you say no?” He asked.

This caught Mikasas attention right away. “What operation, Dad?” She looked to me first, then to our father. – She never looked so clueless. Dad looked taken aback as well.

“You didn’t even tell your sister..” His head shook, and he folded his hands at her. “I found a doctor who is willing to fly over and perform an operation that has a chance to restore his voice.” He told her. Mikasas eyes went wide. And she darted them over at me.

“You didn’t tell me this! Why?”

_“It’s a small chance. It probably wont work.”_ My head was hurting quite bad.

“It’s a chance. It’s been successful before.” My father said.

“He says yes!” Mikasa yelled. “Of course he says yes, why isn’t he here now? Eren? Tell him you say yes.”

“ _I’m still thinking about it.”_  

“Son.. We don’t have a lot more time.. This offer..” He trailed off, and then he took a breath, and looked down at the table again. “This is a very complicated procedure and most surgeons won’t perform it. But this one will. You need to think about this, but speed it up. Not only does this doctor have the capability to changing his mind, but the chance that it is unfixable gets worse and worse by the day. Son, I just want you to get better.”

I just want you to get better.

Everyone just wants me to get better.

Eren isn’t normal. Eren can’t talk.

My eyes closed. My head hurt.

“ **“I know it’s hard, but realize that the way you are right now is okay, But also know the it’s okay in life to take risks, and it’s also okay in life to take a chance. If we don’t take a chance then we don’t see results”** I remembered Levi had said that.

I wondered if Levi wanted me to be better, too.

 

**Day 29:**

“Even the French students are idiots.” Levi was on the other side of the camera on skype and he was ranting on about some class he was teaching for the summer and how there was no difference between both of the students. “I’m not even kidding. It’s ridiculous.”

Three long knocks came onto the front door. – It had been 4 weeks since I’ve been back home. It was actually nice to be sleeping in my own bed, rather than a dry dorm room bed, but I wasn’t complaining. – It was the middle of the day. It probably was just someone dropping something off for mom. Mikasa would get it.

“And let me tell you.. My hotel room is .. Aren’t you going to answer the door?” The knocks came again.

“ _Mikasa or mom will get it.”_  

But then mom’s voice came through the house, “Eren, I’m sorry can you get that? I just stepped in the bath, and Mikasa is out. Please?”

“I need to sleep anyway, Brat. Wipe the smirk off.” Levi winked. Then hit end on the screen. I made a face at the blank skype page that was in front of me before I closed my computer and moved into the living room and pulled open my front door.

Dr. Smith was standing there with his same plastered smile on his face.

“Good afternoon, Eren. How are you?”

I opened the door for him to come in, and took off his blazer and moved into the living room, holding open an envelope. “The results came back from the consultation. It looks very good. – I forwarded the information to your father, as well.” I nodded, and looked down at the papers.

It was a copy from my blood work, my x-rays, my ct-scans, my MRI and every thing else they did the dig, poke, pull and test from me. – In other words: They cleared me for surgery. I let out a long breath, I would be lying if I didn’t say I wasn’t scared.

“There is only one thing.” He said, and crossed his legs, my eyebrows furrowed. “The doctor who is performing the operation has to be in a conference in Dubai by the end of next month, and after the conference, he’s booked with surgery’s and has to go back home to his own practice, so the only way is for you to be put on a waiting list, or to push the surgery up”

Push the surgery up. Dad had set it up so it would happen in August. He looked at me.

“ _How far up?”_  

“Within the next two weeks.. You’re cleared for everything, so there isn’t a big issue for it, it’s a matter of choosing what day and what hospital.” I took a long breath.

This was happening. I was going to be cut open and worked on again. – And it was happening much, much sooner than planned.

“ _During the operation, I’ll be awake?”_

_“_ Yes, you’ll be under full body anesthia, but you’ll be awake. It’s too risky for you to be awake.” I gave another nod, and let out a breath.

What would Levi do? – I didn’t even tell Levi. I didn’t want to get his hopes up. Him of all people.

“ _How is the situation with the Ackerman Family?”_  

Erwin gave me a face when I asked this. But he understood. I didn’t even have to explain it, and he understood. “It’s quiet. There are some people stepping in and taking over, and the focus is off Levi. So I think everything should work out as planned.”

That moment I didn’t know if Erwin was saying it to get me to have the operation sooner, So I could talk sooner. So I wouldn’t worry about Levi being away. I didn’t know what his real motive was. But it was okay.

“ _Let’s do it sooner”_  I told him. Then I went to my room and laid in bed. Levi was probably asleep.

This was worth the risk.

 

**Day 30.**

I had a dream that I was on a cloud and that I could see everything that was happening in the world. I saw everything that had happened in my life. The early ones were clear as day. I saw the time I first made our band and the time we first got our gig. Reiner was so pumped to play our first gig. Then I saw the time that Mikasa came to us and it was one of the warmer days of my life. That day she was brought by someone and my mom welcomed her with open arms. Then I saw the day that my first girlfriend dumped me because she said I wasn’t interested in girls. I thought she was dumb because how could I be gay when I’m with a girl but she wasn’t wrong, I was with her because everyone around me had gotten in a relationship and then there was me, just drooling over my music. Then I saw the ones that was when the accident happened and my voice, the only thing I had going for me, was taken. Those memories were cloudy. When the band moved on without me and I became a shut in who got whatever he wanted because everyone felt bad for me. The time that my mom bought me a brand new play station even though we didn’t even have the money for cable. When I only saw Mikasa and her smile started to go away more. – Yeah, I saw all of those.

Then I saw the memories from when I first met Levi. Those were clear. Those were shining. Those were amazing. My heart was stopping. – The clouds were going away and instead of seeing memories I was back to reality. – Levi made everything okay. The thought of Levi was making everything okay. Levi took the clouds away. As cheesey as it is, everything is Levi. He’s what I needed in the past. He’s what I can’t live without in the present, and he’s what I need in the future.

The doctor talked to me during the whole operation. He asked me yes or no questions and had me lift a finger for yes and keep my hand down for no. -  As soon as it was over he said he was going to put me to sleep now. That’s when the memories came. And when I opened my eyes again, everyone was in the room.

The doctor was there, Mom and dad. Mikasa, and Armin. And Erwin. They were all there.  All except for one.

Oh yeah, I didn’t tell him. I forgot. He was in France. The only thing I wanted to see.

But the door flew open, and there he was. His hair was un-kept, and he was out of breath.

“I thought Eren didn’t tell anyone?” Erwin asked, “Mr. and Mrs. Jeager, This is Levi. He’s Erens..”

They both looked towards Levi. There was Levi. My Levi.

“Well someone had to tell him. As if Eren would want to see any of us and not see his boyfriend.” Mikasa said. She had a smile on. Was she approving? Her? Of her bad cousin? No, this wasn’t my sister.

“Boyfriend? He never told us..” Mom said. Of course mom, how could I tell you. I have a boyfriend and his occupation is kind of a boss of a mafia. Could we invite him for dinner?

Levi didn’t say anything, he just moved past everyone and came to the bed. Did they know my eyes were open? They had to know my eyes were open. I mean, I wasn’t hiding it. “You should have told me. I would have come in a second.” Levi said, as he grabbed over my hand, and slid his fingers over the skin. He then pressed his face to the side of my hand. – “You’re such a brat. I left all my thinks in France and came right for you. What have you done to me?”

“Do you know if it’s successful?” Levi said, turning his head towards the doctor.

“We belive it to be. He’s been breathing heavier and a nurse noticed a whimper come from him in his sleep, but it will take a lot of voice therapy to restore it completely.”

I was frozen, then. It worked? – It might have worked. I didn’t want to speak to anyone else.

It’s funny. How just in a short amount of time I’ve been with Levi. And still he opened my eyes and gave me the voice I lost long ago.

I read once that you can form a habit in 21 days. It takes that amount of time to get in the habit of someone. It takes that many days to feel the need to be around someone for so long, and feel the strong urge to never leave their side. – Well 21 days for us came and past. But it took 30 days.. It took 30 days to use my voice to tell him. It took 30 days to say what I’ve been wanting to say since that day on the beach. Or since I first met him.

I reached up for Levi’s shirt, and pulled him down by the collar. The look of everyone’s surprise was amazing, as well. Now they knew I was awake. – But I just wanted Levi’s attention.

Just Levi.

I’m sure it was a whisper. Inaudible and barely able to make out, but it was there. And he heard it. And that was the end of it, there was no turning back.

“I love you, Levi Ackerman.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone for keeping up with this story. I had such a fun time, and concidering this was only supposed to be a one-shot, this became something way different than planned, but i like it!   
> I hope you all love it and hope you guys had a good journey with it as i did.   
> It's currently 93 degrees in Los Angeles and i'm melting, but i'm looking at the weather for other places to cheer myself up. That made it better when wanting to be lazy and not writing up the finale.   
> I hope you will all stay turned for my future fics and for a bonus i may post in a few weeks.   
> I love each and every one of you and hope i did good to the fandom <3


	10. After.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 6 months after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came to wreck shit up. 
> 
>  
> 
> *light violence. and by light i mean very, very, very light*

"Eren, remember, I told you not to rush it." Erwin had said. Dr. Smith. - He always yelled at me now to call him Dr. Smith. - I couldn't call him Dr. Smith anymore. Not with what happened six months ago. 

Six months. - I can't believe it's been six months. I can't believe I actually had the operation. And I was talking. - Sort of. Could you call this talking? More like grunting, whining and small words. 

"“I love you, Levi Ackerman.” " They yelled at me for that. - The doctor because, well, I wasn't quite ready to speak. - Levi, because well. That was the first thing I had said in years, my father because it was directed towards a man, an older man who was a professor at my school, and.. A man. 

"Let's do it again. Say it slowly" He said, pointing towards the paper in front of him. The list of words I had said in our session. - I was working my way up to mini sentences without hurting myself. 

"I have to pee" My voice was barely anything, still. Six months later. - It almost seemed like it was unsuccessful. - But this made Erwin smile. Any progress made Erwin smile. And it wasn't the fake smile he gave to cancer patients to lie to them and say that they will be okay. His real one. 

"We'll call it today, next week?" I just breathed out, and gave him a nod of my head. - I was good at that. - I stood and put my jacket back on, and looked out of the window. The snow was falling to the ground and the winds were too heavy. 

It was getting too cold. Levi was going to definitely be in a bad mood. - Levi. Oh Levi. 

I turned to face Erwin again, and looked up to him. - He knew what I was going to ask next. He always knew what the endings of our sessions brought. 

"No, Eren. I haven't gotten a phone call" – I just sighed again. It actually sounded somewhere between a sigh and a grunt, it was annoying.   
~  
After the operation, Levi didn't leave the hospital. He glared at the nurses when they told him that it was past visiting hours and paid the overnight nurse not to tell anyone that he was still there. He showed me pictures of the short time he was in France, and talked to me about when he said he was going to take me. 

"We'll go" He said, after he threw his phone down and rubbed over my hair. He was being nice, He was being too nice. "Don't get all mushy, of course I'll take you one day, I did spend a fair amount of my childhood there, how could I not take you?" His eyes rolled, and he made me scoot over in my bed, and he got his tablet out, and turned on Netflix. 

On the day I was released, Mom said she got my room at home set up. My father made few phone calls and they said it would be acceptable for me to return to the spring semester in January rather than September. - Levi stood in the back of the hospital room, with his arms crossed as everyone said something different to me, and everyone was getting me ready to go. One nurse was taking more blood, Mikasa was packing all my belongings. My mom was helping me get dressed, The doctor was explaining what i'd need to do. Levi was just watching, waiting. 

He also followed us back home, and my Mom forced him to stay for dinner. - My father glared at him the whole time, and my mom asked him uncomfortable questions about him and Mikasa's relationship. - Dad announced that he had a class to teach in London in the next week and went to bed early. - When mom finally left my room for me and Levi, she cracked the door like I was 15 and made it a habit of walking by every five minutes. 

"She's nice." Levi said, sitting down on my computer chair. "cares" – I just watched him, swallowing back some of the pain pills they had given me. 

That night, Levi didn't make small talk. He didn't ask more about my family or my life in this town. - He didn't look around my room of ask anything else. He laid next to me, brushed over my hand, and stayed quiet. - It was like I knew. The way he was acting, they way he had been acting since I woke up from the operation. I knew. 

I had a voicemail on my phone the next morning. It wasn't long, It was from Levi, and it said "This doesn't mean you're allowed to fuck around. You're still mine." He said, and they key to his apartment was there too. - I had one, but one more was on my nightstand, connected to a post-it that just had the letter 'L' on it. 

I cried. I sobbed. For the first time in years I could hear myself crying. - So i let myself cry more. And it hurt, it hurts so bad to cry, but I had to cry. - He was gone. Levi was gone. Levi was mine but Levi was gone. And i was able to hear my pain. I was able to hear myself. 

Two months ago, I moved back to school, though I left the dorms, and moved into Levi's apartment. - Mikasa thought I was dumb. 

"you move into the home of the asshole who broke your heart. Again." She said. He was an asshole. He was a huge asshole. - But he was my asshole. 

Erwin thought it was a good idea, because I'd be closer to his office for our visits and he thought that being away from the town that the accident happened would be better for my mental health.

I wanted him to come back. I couldn't tell if i was still sad or angry. - I was just there. The new semester was starting next week, and Its like i was just there.

After my session with Erwin, I got a bagel from the bakery, and went back home. - The apartment hadn't changed from when Levi lived there. It was still quiet. It was still neat, and it still had all of Levi's things inside it. Everything was the way he left it, aside from a few of my things there now, my shoes by the door and my coats hanging on the coat rack. 

The apartment was also starting to not smell like him anymore. It made me sick to my stomach thinking that I couldn't smell him anymore. - It was his home, and it was smelling like my cologne, my laundry detergent and the food I was making. - It was his, but it was mine. But it wasn't ours. - I wanted to cry again. 

I threw my abandoned bagel on the counter and got in the shower. - All of Levi's shower gels were still there. His shampoo, mine, half gone were next to it. I wanted to break them all. Everyday I showered and I went between being mad, to sad to happy. 

I got out and wrapped towel around my lower half, then shook out my hair, and walked back to the closet, sliding on a pair of sweats, then turned. 

I turned the lights off, but they were on. I didn't turn the lights on. I barely turned the lights on, I only ever turned the bedside light on and maybe a kitchen light sometimes. - This wasn't me. 

I reached for a hockey stick that was leaning against the wall by the bed, and walked more into the living room. - There was no one there. This was weird. - I moved into the kitchen, There was also no one there. 

"You just decided the move yourself in then, kid?" His voice said. It was scratchy. And deep. - I spun around and threw the stick into his direction. - It was him. 

It was him. That was his voice. - But my eyes were closed. - I think the stick hit him. - But I did it again. 

"Fuck. Fuck. Stop. STOP" He yelled the last one. - I dropped the stick and stood, breathing heavy. He was coughing. And breathing heavier. "I suppose I actually deserve that, honestly." His voice was still scratchy, yet calm.

My eyes opened and I saw him. He looked tired, and more pale than normal. His pants were torn, and he was wearing a hoodie. - Levi.. Levi fucking Ackerman in a hoodie. 

"I don't suppose I'm going to get a 'Welcome home, sweetie?" 

I only kept staring. - He sighed, and took off his jacket. 

"I promise to explain. But first let me shower. I spent the last 48 hours on a greyhound bus and i think i caught something." Then he reached up, and brushed his fingers over my hair. Then vanished to the bathroom. 

His touch burned. - All this waiting. My stomach was in a knot. 

By the time he came out, I was in the bed, on my laptop, typing an e-mail to my teacher explaining my vocal situation. - As I had to do every semester. All he had on was sweats. He had a new scar on his stomach, close to his hip bone. It was healed, but looked new. I was staring at it. - He noticed. 

"I fell on a knife outside a small pub in Prague in October." He said, and turned into his dresser, shuffling with things on top of it. "Did you touch a chain that was up here?" His head turned, and I only shook mine. He gave a sigh. He moved to the open window that was there, and crossed his arms. "They cut me off. - Whoever was left in my family. Before.." 

I moved my laptop to the floor, and looked at him. He turned to face me, he gave me new look. One I've never seen before. 

"Before your operation with the short time I was in France, I found out I had a cousin out there, and they were taking over whatever Kenny left behind. - When I went back they told me that I was not family, I was banned. It was either vanish forever, or something worse" 

Something worse. 

"You bruised me. It's good that i know you have a good arm on you, It makes me feel better that you could have defended yourself while I was away." 

'There was no reason to defend myself' 

He nodded, and walked to sit on the bed. "Don't get mushy, I can see it in your eyes." He had his normal face back. The same slanted eyes were there. "Are you talking?" 

I opened my mouth, and let out a breath, and said "A little." 

Levi nodded at this. Then he laid back, and put his hands behind his head. 

"Did you find my replacement while I was gone?" 

This made me narrow my eyes now. "would I be living here?" 

This made him give his small laugh I loved. "I'm sorry, Eren. I had too- I couldn't leave things bad with my family when things were so good with yours." 

I laughed at this. - It ended up hurting. But I laughed. My family? Good. 

"two weeks after my dad vanished again." 

Levi ignored this, though. I was caught by strong arms. I was being squeezed. His breathing was uneven, and heavy. "Fuck.. Your laugh. I'll live for it." 

I laid against his body. It was warm. It smelled like Levi. Levi was home. 

"I.. I miss.." barely a whisper came out soon. 6 months, i could only produce barely a whisper. 

"Shh." Levi said. His hand rubbed over the back of my head, then he moved his fingers to brush over my chin, lifting it, and gave a quick kiss. "I know. Every second. Me too. And.. Eren. I'm not going away. Not again, Not ever." 

We had a lot to work with. Less than an hour ago, i was angry. I still was scared. - But right in that moment, it didn't matter. He was here, and I was there. The silence between us was worth a million words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got new computer, and decided to write a, hey this is a thing for these guys and shit. - I hope you guys like haikyuu bc i may write a kuro/kenma fic. :))   
> i missed you guys. I love your feedback.   
> Also, the last snk chapter. I cried. Did you cry? I cried. fodfdfff.   
> Okay, i hope to see you coolcats in the future or cough cough, my tumblr? ---> haises-rightarm


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